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Depressed and Selfish

This is a discussion on Depressed and Selfish within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; I am a piece of shit. This is recent I married my husband 6 months ago and I was ignored ...

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Old 09-01-18, 06:54 PM   #1
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I am a piece of shit. This is recent I married my husband 6 months ago and I was ignored for the majority of our wedding day, we have been together little over 5 years, Every time we try to celebrate a special day or holiday it gets ruined somehow, it gets so bad I don't want to celebrate anything anymore. I was never really allowed to buy clothing or make up because he wanted to buy 40k miniatures (google it, it's expensive). Ever since our wedding day I want to divorce him and for some weird reason I have been having a fashion crisis I recently lost my job because I was continuously begin harassed by a coworker and all he kept was a slap on the wrist, later on I found out my manager dismissed my case because he didn't wanted to do extra paperwork, so I quit my job and quickly feel into depression, our 6 year anniversary was coming up and my husbands brother passed away a day before our anniversary I was upset because it was suppose to be a happy day for us and we had to go to the funeral I got ready I had everything I needed but I couldn't find my high heels and I told my husband the day before the funeral I need a new pair of heels. He insisted I didn't need a new pair one pair is good enough. Naturally we couldn't find that one pair of heels and my husband wanted me to wear my interview shoes with my funeral dress I was not too happy I begged to go to the nearest Goodwill and quickly buy a pair of heels again he refused because he made us late to the funeral. I refused to go to the funeral because I didn't wanted to look like an idiot. I made a bad impression to his brother when we met (Twice!) and I'll be damn if I looked like a clown at his brothers funeral I cried because I didn't had anything to wear on my feet for the funeral and my husband apologize for losing my heels and leaves. I got so angry I literally ripped the dress of off me and cried alone in my bedroom. when I calm down about the situation I felt so horrible (still do) I should've went to the funeral despite how I looked and now his family knows how much of a piece of shit I am, I don't know what to do. I just feel worse everyday little by little I know I am going to snap one day. I need help.
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Old 09-03-18, 08:28 AM   #2
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@rainlion...first we all welcome you on this forum where we listen to what people have to say...their upsets,worries etc...you're not a piece of shit,nobody is unless we feel so down and without a single bit of self esteem and self worth that we say...I am a piece of shit..i think your husband is to blame because he does not treat you like you should be treated...a relationship is a two way story where respect,values and mutual confidence and trust is very important..if these things lack then it's not a relationship,me and my girlfriend talk,discuss things,argue maybe because not one human being is the same,but at the end of the day we know we belong,it's a holy union of mutual togetherness which creates good feelings,and life is sometimes not easy for anyone..if you say you feel ignored by your husband then you're living on an island on your own,i call a celebration positive if it is a day of joy and togetherness...is your husband a manipulator because you cannot buy the clothes or high heels you want?i bet he shows egocentrism in his behaviour and it really hits you..i am flabbergasted you lasted for 5 years living with him?life is not about a pair of hig heels,rainlion..but i think your husband should consider your values and desire in life and not treat you like a piece of shit,why you think you would haved look like a fool on the funeral of your husbands brother?and because you didn't go to the funeral you created a bout of depression?and remorse or guilt?you will get replies to your posting and nobody will say you're a piece of shit,pull yourself together...maybe a divorce is the answer for you if you cannot talk things out with your hubby?do not do anything silly which you will regret later on..you will not snap if you develop a sense of self esteem and confidence..we are here to listen to your story,your worries and in this forum whe are like family,that's the strenght of TTL..take care and keep us updated about your situation..
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Last edited by tigerlover; 09-03-18 at 08:31 AM.
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