Any advice?
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Any advice?

This is a discussion on Any advice? within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; Hey I don't know how much any of you have been following my posts on other threads, but for those ...

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Old 01-02-15, 10:48 PM   #1
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Hey I don't know how much any of you have been following my posts on other threads, but for those of you who don't know, I just recently ended a relationship due to my inability to support myself, causing me, or maybe just making me see that I had fallen into depression. The week before school got out for Christmas, we took a week of silence to see if we could fix our problems, but it didn't help. She just realized that she was super pissed at me because I was suffocating her. During that week, every time I saw her, I got really mad, because I was so torn up without her, and she was better without me. Anyways, we broke up right at the beginning of Christmas break at school, and I haven't seen her since, but I have gone to the mall, where we went quite a bit, and it made me so mad I just about broke everything in the house because I was so angry. We are about to go back to school, and I don't expect anything to be different. I don't need sympathy, because I am just fucking done with relationships at this point, but I do need advice. She and I have several classes throughout the day together, and I don't know how I am going to make it through the next semester without killing something. Dropping the classes or moving isn't an option, because these are the only times those are available, and I am not postponing my education or changing my life for that. I tried running, but that didn't really help. What I really need is a way to make it so she doesn't piss me off to the point that I want to beat her or me to a pulp. Morals and a strong sense of self-preservation keep me from doing either, but then I just screw myself over by keeping everything inside and boiling till I can't hold it anymore and burst. What do I do to make me not this way? It doesn't help that I have no peers to talk to about this, because my best friend moved away last year and my family isn't an option. I couldn't even tell them about how I felt, which didn't really matter, because my mom got into my account here and read all of my posts, so that happened. They want to take me to a therapist my older brother went to, but I have strong doubts about that. The best thing I can say about my situation right now is that I recognize that the anger I will feel will eat me to death, but other than that, it looks pretty damn bleak. Sorry for the long post, but I trimmed it as short as I felt I could. This is how I ask for help, I guess. One more thought that has been on my mind, in the form of a Bukowski quote. This is how the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper This is how my life will go on, not with a bang and with events, but with me whimpering in the corner, and I see no way out. Anyone got any ideas? Besides writing shorter posts XDDDDD
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Old 01-03-15, 03:22 PM   #2
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Dear DrAnomoly: First of all, I want to say how I admire you for recognizing the anger inside. Some people aren't able to do that, and you did.

Support from others is very helpful. I know you said you have strong doubts about the therapist that helped your brother. Maybe look around your area and see what other options for counselling exist. Go on a self-preservation strategy hunt!

One size does not fit all - one therapist does not work for everyone. A friend of mine told me about a great therapist she was seeing. I went for a session and felt "meh". Not a good fit for me. So I looked around some more. We keep looking until we find one that we relate to.

Your morals and strong sense of self preservation are very good to hold onto. Keep them close but again, keep experimenting and learning different ways to express that anger and get it out so you don't boil over. My anger has gotten me into so much trouble in the past; I am learning to channel it effectively. I tried repressing it to and that never helped. It's gotta come out, but safely and effectively. A professional can help us with these "learned" human skills.

I hear your conviction on how you want to continue with your education. That's good! If you quit, it might make you feel even crappier, and you don't need that.

Keep us posted on how you work through this. You deserve to reach those goals you set for yourself!
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Old 01-05-15, 10:54 PM   #3
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Well, school has started now, and I am no longer wanting to wreck the world after seeing her, but it does make me somber and sad and I do worry that seeing her may make me worse than I already am. I don't have a fix for that, but I can at least ignore her with the help of good music XDDD
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Old 01-06-15, 09:43 AM   #4
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If you are in the United States just about all colleges and universities have counseling and mental health services that you have already paid for with your student body fees. My first recommendation would be to go there for help because of their familiarity with your age group and current issues you are having. Being able to vent and look at things differently or learning to handle certain things in a different way can be a big help. Even going to your brother's therapist isn't such a bad thing. Everyone needs a little help sometime and there is no shame in seeing a professional about it.

Do what you can to remain on good terms with your ex.......its a healthy move for you both mentally. I wish you well on your endeavor to get better.
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Old 01-07-15, 09:45 PM   #5
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Well it looks like the issue will be forced. My mom got onto my account here and to make a long story short, she is scheduling me an appointment for therapy, which is okay, because Im not sure I would ever do it on my own, and I don't know how much it will help or not, so worth a shot I guess... Hopefully homework and work can distract me, especially as extracurriculars pick up. Thanks for the help though
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Old 01-08-15, 02:05 AM   #6
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Someone to talk to, be it friends, groups, or therapists can never be a bad thing unless you just really don't click with the therapist, in which case you should try another that you might click with. But they can only do so much - be a bit of a sounding board to help you figure things out.
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