Advice on how to deal with restrictive family?
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Advice on how to deal with restrictive family?

This is a discussion on Advice on how to deal with restrictive family? within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; So basically my biggest problem in my life is my restrictive family. They are Muslim and in their culture it ...

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Old 10-04-17, 10:46 AM   #1
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Default Advice on how to deal with restrictive family?

So basically my biggest problem in my life is my restrictive family. They are Muslim and in their culture it is not uncommon to restrict your kids. Even though I am a 22 year old man I am still being restricted by them and not completely free. I live in the United States but both my parents came form another country of a different culture. In their culture sex is taboo and so is dating. When I grew up I was never allowed to socialize much and mostly confined indoors. Because of this I was not able to have a girlfriend or many close friends. There have been beautiful girls that have shown interest in me in the past but because of my restrictive family it was almost impossible to go further with them.

Even though they are Muslim I am not. I am an atheist and think that their culture is ridiculous. I would say I am pretty westernized. I have thought about running away a lot but it is extremely difficult and there could be fatal consequences for me if I fail in this. Not just for me but my other family also will suffer if I decided to run away. So I'm kind of stuck. I've been struggling all my life because of my backwards family and I've missed out on so many people I potentially could have had a good relationship/friendship with because I'm so restricted.

Every time I got police involved in the past it has always ended very badly so police is not an option for me. Besides going to college I'm not really allowed to go out anywhere much. It's almost impossible to speak against them or I could be badly hurt and there will be severe consequences if I do. They do not let me do the things I want in life, talk to the people I want, have the girls I want.

I just want to be free and have my own life. Do what I want. Go where I want. Be with who I want. Be away from them, be able to be with the women I want without being restricted and live my own life away from them but it's hard. Not all of my family are bad though. My siblings are good people and they are westernized and not like them. That's why if I ran away I'm scared what would happen to them not to mention the danger I would be in constantly.

Any advice on what to do? Thanks
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Old 10-04-17, 05:08 PM   #2
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I am sorry I do not understand a lot of the muslim ways, I know a bit so cannot really answer well but didnt want to read and run.

How old are your siblings?

I am not from the USA so not sure on your laws either, sorry, but by 22 are you able to leave the family home and therefore you wouldnt be classed as running away for you to start your own home or is it an extended family that your parents want.?

If you moving out causing a threat to your siblings maybe it would be CPS that could step in and keep an eye on them.
Sorry if I have spoken out of turn saying that.
What do you mean you would be in danger?
I would think about trying to get your own place and tearing away as it must be draining on your mental health.
sorry for all the questions

DO your parents want you in an arranged marriage?
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Old 10-05-17, 08:23 PM   #3
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Give them the finger. You get to live your life the way you want to. If they can't understand that, it's their loss.
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