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This is a discussion on Untitled within the Creative Writing forums, part of the Diversions category; I wrote this last night so it may still need some work. But I couldnt think of a name for ...

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Old 10-19-06, 09:09 PM   #1
 
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I wrote this last night so it may still need some work. But I couldnt think of a name for it so I'm just going to call it Untitled.

Untitled

Ruining through a dream side by side.
No one would believe their plight.
I’m not real. He whispers.
You are as long as I believe. she whispers back.
Don't you care I'm only make believe? He asks with teary eyes.
How do you know I’m really real? She asks with a weary smile.
Still they run through the forest of their dreams.
Their souls filled with understanding for one another.
She wishes for more time with him.
He wishes for her life.
I’m tired I have to go. She cries.
Stay with me! He begs.
She wants to stay forever with her unicorn running through the forest.
They’re calling me... She says.
Ignore them for now. Don't you deserve to be happy? He asks.
I have so little time... She whisperers.
Let me carry you far far away from their voices. He kneels before her.
He carries her throughout his world showing her things she’s only dreamed of.
Just for a moment she forgets how sick she is that she cant walk that she is dying.
Faster! she calls out.
Her unicorn runs with all his might he runs for hours.
I’m sorry. He says has he slows down.
For what? She asks as she strokes his silky mane.
For not being real for only being in your dreams... He whimpers.
She slides off his back and looks into his eyes. Don’t be sorry for that. You gave me strength and loved me. You gave me a place where I could run when I cant even walk.
Then why do you have to go back? He pleads.
I’m not going back. I’m going somewhere I can be free.
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Old 10-19-06, 09:13 PM   #2
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DA - That was very, very touching & beautiful dear! Wow, you really do have very creative writing skills; I love it! I hope you keep posting more.......

Aries
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Old 10-19-06, 09:17 PM   #3
 
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Thank you Aries. I collect unicorns I love everything about them I was staring at a painting of one last night the poem just kinda wrote its self.
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Old 10-19-06, 09:58 PM   #4
 
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I agree with Aries that was beautiful you have some real talant
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Old 10-20-06, 08:17 PM   #5
 
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Thanks. I still cant think of a proper name for it.... I guess in a way Untitled kinda is a good name for it.... :?
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Old 10-20-06, 10:05 PM   #6
 
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Beautiful - you are such a good writer!!

Untitled isn't good enough for this. It needs a real name....in my opinion:)
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Old 10-20-06, 10:16 PM   #7
 
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Thank you, I know I know it needs a better name I just cant think of one... :(
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Old 10-20-06, 10:31 PM   #8
 
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Well....just let it sit on your brain for awhile and you will. I'll think, too.

Night.
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Old 10-21-06, 05:05 PM   #9
 
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I tried thiking of a few sugetins but it's too good. My brain can't think of anything good enough :)
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Old 10-21-06, 05:18 PM   #10
 
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DA this is so beautiful.
I have a friend that can't walk may I have your permission to share it with her?
skyhope
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