A short poem I wrote. Comments appreciated
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A short poem I wrote. Comments appreciated

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Old 10-16-09, 06:40 PM   #1
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Sitting in my room alone,
only friend a silent phone.
Wishing she would call again,
I wouldn't be so lonely then.
I need to find a way to stop,
from slowly cutting myself up.
I'm gradually starting to fall apart,
it all began when she broke my heart.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
Just forget her, it's the only way
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Old 10-16-09, 06:47 PM   #2
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That's a wonderful poem! I love it so much.
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Old 10-16-09, 06:48 PM   #3
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Yes I think it would go well to music
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Old 11-14-09, 04:07 PM   #4
 
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I like it :) - Sad, yet hopeful *finger snaps*
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Old 11-14-09, 04:10 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Starrk View Post
(No Title)

Sitting in my room alone,
only friend a silent phone.
Wishing she would call again,
I wouldn't be so lonely then.
I need to find a way to stop,
from slowly cutting myself up.
I'm gradually starting to fall apart,
it all began when she broke my heart.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
Just forget her, it's the only way
yep, I like it....alot...
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I am always thinking of you.
When I see my angels and when I smell the heaven
I long to be near, my mind goes to you
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Old 11-21-09, 10:36 AM   #6
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very nice stark!!

its very phonetic.. makes a good flow. and the message is concise and direct. like it :)
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