My dear Life,
you are beautiful. My soul isn't. I want nothing from Life. I want all from Death.
There is nothing in this Life I want anymore.
Everything I am, everything I have, everything I want, is nothing.
I became nothing, I will disappear as nothingness.
It doesn't even bother me, nothing bothers me anymore,
I couldn't care less what my Life has become, what I have become.
I care about nothing, I love nearly nothing.
My dearest Life,
We had a chance to be something extraordinary, something beyond every reason.
I had plans, I had hopes, God we could have been everything we ever wanted.

My Life of shadows,
you could have been something precious, you could have been fun and beauty,
my morning smile and fresh roses every morning next to my bed.
You are not anymore. You were nothing more than, tiredness, death and suffer.
I don't blame you. It wasn't your job to make myself full of life, love and beauty .
It wasn't your job to make me wanna live, to fill myself with diecent strength to fight.
It was enough and too much from you, that day of my birth when you decided
to live on my side. You chose that day, darkness I've become. You are my Life.
And that was enough, you did everything to keep me alive. All the rest was on me.
Everything was my choices,decisions,acts.

You did your best and I did my worst. What a lovely romance that was.

My Life, I miss you. I miss you deadly so so much.
I can't even remember that day our romance started.
I am sure it was lovely. Perfect little tale of not yet broken little girls heart.
And her prince charming called Life. All I had to do is love you.
Love you, as people love each others. And I couldn't even do that.
I am sorry. I never let you live, I have never let you in.
Always in the dark corner of my soul, waiting to blossom as flowers do in my garden.
But you never had a chance.
My poor Life, what have I done to you?
You left my side long time ago, years ago into that darkness. I don't blame you.
Since then I stand here like a ghost roaming these streets of hopeless faith,
this house they call my home, I call it my 4 walls of salvation.

My dear Life,
no matter how awful you are, I love you.
But darkness is where I belong, darkness is what I chose, it's what I have become.
Our romance is dead,
you can move on, go on, go on with your beautiful things, help others, love other people,
give them everything, show them everything, everything we couldn't have, give them all,
make them happy, find somebody who will honestly love you and want you,
find somebody who will fight for you. I never did. I gave up,
before you even had a chance to show me all the beauty you carry inside.

I miss your breath of roses in the morning, your sound of birds waking me up.
My lovely Life, I could never hate you. You made me, you gave me everything.
I love you and I miss you, but it is time for you and me to go apart,
you go on your way into the light, walk along the sun, bath your beauty in the arms of the nature.
I will watch you from the other side while I drink poison with your enemy.
We will make our way through, I stand better chance on the other side.
You don't worry about me, I will be fine.
You take care, You find somebody who will appreciate You. I am sorry I never did..

Farewell my Dearest Life. 2007