09-27-07, 11:37 PM
|
#1
|
TTL Gold Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: after continental drift, 61°59' & 9°32'
Posts: 11,024
My Mood:
|
The Red Balloon
A red balloon floats around to be admired by all... held proudly by a pretty woman who looks like a model, and truthfully, she has been one, and she knows how beautiful she is... And she knows how beautiful her red balloon is, too... and she shows it off to anyone who will look... because balloons are wonderful things... things of joy, of wonderment, of beauty... things you find at zoos and carnivals... And everyone looks and everyone smiles...
But few know what fragile things balloons really are...
No one notices the men and women who stand off in the shadows crying and cradling their burst balloons...
Balloons that have popped on trees through carelessness or a quick breeze...
People call them crazy - the people that stand screaming at the sky...
when they are crying to the balloons which the careless wind has snatched away...
And others just cry their grief for the balloons that have just lost their air... slowly watching it seep away... tears streaming down their faces and wails issuing from their throats...
Sometimes the balloons can be saved... and re inflated... but they are misshapen... and never quite the same...
No one smiles at these people... No one admires their pretty balloons... Their pretty balloons don't exist anymore.
No one even wants to look in their direction... for truth is a frightening thing.
Fantasy and beauty is more desirable - and easy. And so everyone keeps staring at the beautiful, curly, brown-haired lady with the beautiful red balloon, and no one sees how fragile it is, nor how stretched its rubber is...
And then one day, it happens... the lady doesn't watch what she is doing... and the balloon drifts too close to the tress, and it bursts. And the lady's beautiful face turns horrible... and she lets out a terrible cry, a wail reaching above the top of the gigantic oak that popped her beloved...
But then, she stops. And she shoves the balloon into her pocket and dries her face... and checks her eyes in her compact for mascara runs... and then she saunters down the road again, soon resuming her proud walk...
And soon enough, she comes across the people that had admired her before - admired her and her beautiful red balloon...
And the people ask her... Where is your red balloon? Oh, what happened?
And she smiles her beautiful, kind smile, and says she had met a young lady... whose balloon had burst... and who was simply *devastated*, for the young lady did not have so many friends as she herself did, and was not as beautiful, and so, she had given this young woman her beautiful red balloon, and it had immediately brightened her homely face and indeed, she did become more pretty... Though of course, not as pretty as the beautiful lady of course...
And the people oohed and ahhed and clapped their hands and offered her their balloons, but she laughed and shook her head and politely declined, thanking them for their kindness. And then she moved on... and the people watched with admiration anew as the beautiful lady walked off with a new strut in her step...
And, at the entrance to the park, her hand silently stole into her coat pocket and slipped the dead balloon into the garbage as she passed.
__________________
confuses fiction with reality
|
|
|
09-28-07, 09:51 AM
|
#2
|
TTL Silver Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Still waiting for the Great Pumpkin, and I'll wait...
Posts: 7,845
|
Hm, very nice Strawbean. IT's very symbolic. I have to say I think this would make a good childrens book b/c there's a lesson in this story, maybe more than one? And I can see the imagery would be very good in pic form.
I guess we all want to be admired and special. Idk, maybe the beautiful woman realized that she didn't need a red balloon to be admired, that she was special on her own, maybe the red balloon is inside us. Maybe all we need is who we are?
It makes me think too that if you pass something good on selflessly that the good will return to you. I'd hope so.
I have this nagging feeling that this story is the opposite. That the woman didn't realize anything. That she lied about giving her balloon away and acting selflessly to garner positive attention from the people, but then would make her pretty phoney. That would be sad b/c she learned nothing.
IT reads like a fable.
Thank you Strawbean.
__________________
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” Dr. Seuss
"The earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed." Gandhi.
War is a racket. The few profit. The many suffer. --Major General Smedley Butler. 2 time congressional Medal of Honor winner.
"The greater the sensibility, the greater the suffering...much suffering." Leonardo da Vinci.
Everybody drank the Kool-Aid.
|
|
|
09-28-07, 12:01 PM
|
#3
|
TTL Gold Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: after continental drift, 61°59' & 9°32'
Posts: 11,024
My Mood:
|
Thanks, Tiggrr.
Both of your points are true... I guess she may have realized that she was special without the balloon - that she didn't need the balloon to be special... that in itself would be a decent story, I guess...
Idk, though... bc she lied, and no, didn't appear to have learned, you're right...
I actually meant this to be darker, really...
but Idk if I should say what I meant by the balloons right now...
Thanks for your thoughts... I hadn't thought of either lesson...
Interesting.
__________________
confuses fiction with reality
|
|
|
09-29-07, 09:49 AM
|
#4
|
TTL Silver Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: in my bubble
Posts: 7,691
My Mood:
|
I really liked the story, Straw.. You shold write more..
****hugs***
__________________
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step." - Lao Tsu -
"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing." - Hillel -
|
|
|
10-02-07, 08:42 PM
|
#5
|
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 310
|
Thread moved due to the request of the author.
Might I add the story is a most interesting one!
Aron
|
|
|
10-02-07, 09:01 PM
|
#6
|
TTL Gold Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: after continental drift, 61°59' & 9°32'
Posts: 11,024
My Mood:
|
Thank you Aron. :) Thanks, Mitza.
I thought I needed to explain what the story meant to me when I wrote it... Bc it makes me so sad to explain... So maybe it's something I need to discuss, Idk...
The balloons represent lives, children, people. The broken balloons are children that are hurt or sick or dead... I'm the red balloon... My Mom is the beautiful lady and she carries me around, showing me off... But I'm not real... I don't have a personality, no self, no voice, no feelings... I was a pretty thing to look at, something to be showed off...
and when I wasn't what my Mom wanted, she pretended I was, she lies sometimes to others, and pretends... she thinks she knows me, but she never will, bc to her I don't have feelings of my own really.. I am a balloon... And she discarded my self, my feelings - so I feel bc she never wanted to hear them - like I never deserved it...
So the story is true in a way - a very harsh projection to explain a story... an exaggeration, and yet.. Idk...
I always want to defend my Mother.. say how kind she is... and yet, she has no real friends, Idk...
I don't feel that she ever really cared for me.,.. bc she never listened.. from day one, she made it so that she was the only one there... My father left... and it was only her and I.. and she isolated us from the rest of the family... and when I was 4, she was forced to move back to my grandmother's house.. bc it's very difficult, raising a child on your own... but even then, she took off, took me away whenever she was angry, used me as a tool, alienating me kind of... so that I only had her to depend on...
And yet, she was never there to depend on... I spent my entire young life silent... "Children are seen and not heard.." They have no selves, no feelings... They are toys, dolls, balloons... And no I had no voice... I had to listen to hers, her feelings, that's what existed... and anything bad that happened to me, I locked up deeply inside, bc there was nothing else that I could do... I had no words, no voice. I was a balloon.
She let me down, like I never existed.. She always thought that she could make me happy by buying me second-hand toys, filling the toy box... silly, bc I had a few favorite, and I liked to play outside, and liked to draw and read... but of course, she never saw that bc she had her own reality, and my reality, my self never existed...
I have always been invisible. She was the only one I've ever had to depend on, and I still feel that way... and yet yet, I can't trust her at all.. she's hurt me so many times... verbally, physically, emotionally, just by neglecting, putting me in harm's way... she's never been there, the only one I had.. this is what she did...
It's so hard for me to be angry with her... I defend her constantly, bc she's my mother.. and even this... I can't get angry about.. I'm just sad...
She hit me with switches (sticks) and the broom and her hand and her fist at times... she's left me to sleep on the cold porch when I was 7 while she had sex (I could hear them) with her bf that I hated, and I was scared and alone bc I knew what they were doing + my cousin had done that to me before too... she and my Aunt would leave me with him and he'd do things to me... she called the police on me a few times bc of an argument... and I remember when I was 14, hiding in the garage attic for hours on Dec 24... with no jacket... it was cold, there was no heat... all bc I was scared that they'd take me away... and I wasn't a bad kid. Iwas a good student, I never got in trouble at school...
I remember her getting drunk again and again.. we'd have to search the bars at night whenever she got mad and left, to try and bring her home...
to the point that I knew how to take care of her - and at age 11 went over to the neighbor's house and told off a grown woman bc she had nothing better to do than get my mother drunk to obtain gossip and wouldn't be the one who had to deal with my mother's resulting moods and have to put her to bed... an 11 year old - told her off.. maybe that's why her boys stopped playing with me, Idk.. they were the only kids in the neighborhood though...
I remember someone called DCFS on my Mom's bf bc he was molesting me + when the police officer put her hand on my arm with her nails, my mom grabbed her and pulled her away.. and they ended up wrestling and my Mom got dragged off in handcuffs and her knee twisted and permanently damaged beyond repair, bc she overreacted...
She's very impulsive and hot tempered at times, moody... and yet the next day, very sorry and tries to make up with you...
Idk... It wasn't safe, that's all.. and even now, I've gone numb, kinda, like all this was normal... Idk how to write about this or make it real...
I was in a bubble, and I want to feel, but I defend her... so I won't even tell you how I might... I won't tell you her good points... bc I'll get carried away... Truth is, all the things she did and didn't do... they are inexcusable... and she's still hurting me... telling me I won't ever find anyone, that's she's embarrassed of me, like I don't deserve love... that I'm irresponsible... and yet that she loves me... it makes no sense... Idk... :( and since she's the only one I have.. I'm afraid to trust anyone bc every else that I knew and loved when I was young hurt me or left.. She's the only one I can depend on to be there always.. and yet I know I can't depend on her... at all, ever... I can't tell her anything for fear that she will throw it back at me and hurt me with it, or simply not understand.. bc I'm a balloon... so I really am alone.. and it's so hard.. Idk how to trust.. love scares me so... I love I do deeply, and yet, Idk if the roots ever really grab hold in my heart... That hurts an awful lot... Makes me think that maybe I will always be alone...
I just don't know... It makes me so sad.. Idk how to be angry... Anger is the last frontier... Idk if I have the technology to reach it though...
:cry:
__________________
confuses fiction with reality
|
|
|
10-02-07, 11:56 PM
|
#7
|
TTL Bronze Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: hell
Posts: 6,257
My Mood:
|
wow. I am so sorry Straw,
Im sorry that all happened to you.
I liked the story I thought I knew thre meaning but i was way off.
Im sorry
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Yesterday is not ours to recover but tomorrow is ours to win or lose
The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power
|
|
|
10-03-07, 11:34 AM
|
#8
|
Experienced Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: nowhere
Posts: 1,772
My Mood:
|
oh dear sweet straw...
:S :cry: i knew there was a reason this story made me so so very sad, sad for you but not knowing really why, not able to delve into it enough to really figure it out... i'm so sorry. PLEASE KNOW THAT YOUR MOTHER WAS WRONG WRONG WRONG AND A VERY BAD PERSON WHO DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE DEFENDED FOR ANYTHING EVER NO MATTER WHAT! i hope you can come to terms w/your anger. it's there, deep down where you hid it. i know you are scared to tap the source but know that we are here for you to help you. i can tell you that I am VERY ANGRY after reading this, besides sad, angry at your mom and your aunt and your mom's bf and your cousin. i'm so hurt and angry i could just rip somebody's head off and cry while doing it... please let us help you get through all of this. thank you for sharing, i know how hard it must have been for you to post this, i'm very very proud of you... love you tons ((((((((HUGS))))))))
bent
|
|
|
10-03-07, 11:46 AM
|
#9
|
TTL Silver Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: in my bubble
Posts: 7,691
My Mood:
|
I'm so proud of you for posting this.. *hugs* And I am so sorry that all this have happened to you.. I'm here to help you get through it all.. Love you, Straw... *************hugs************
__________________
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step." - Lao Tsu -
"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing." - Hillel -
|
|
|
10-03-07, 12:19 PM
|
#10
|
TTL Silver Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Still waiting for the Great Pumpkin, and I'll wait...
Posts: 7,845
|
You've been through so much Strawbean, but you're still such a beautiful person and that says something about you, about your strength and your nature. I'm very glad to know you and I'm gald that you posted this b/c I thinkyou really need to talk about this stuff, I hope it helps, I know it will...
I know you love your mom, and thats okay, but your mother is a selfish woman, and probably has been through some things herself, b/c these things tend to get passsed down. But my concern is for you and that's where your concern should be, too.
Your mother made herself the center of your life, instead of making you the center of her life--her drama and pain was the issue and she didnt' take care of you the way a selfless parent would and should. I think she must need you alot, and "uses" you as a built in friend instead of a daughter. She undoubtedly knows how to manipulate you.
It seems to me, that your mother is still a child, still looking for people to use to take her pain out on; don't let her continue. She has issues, no doubt, but your life is what is important now. If she has no friends, it may be b/c most people will not put up with abuse, but family often will. I can see how she made you feel so dependant on her, taking you with her, using you as a tool for revenge or comfort. Idk, I could go on, it seems so clear to me, but I dont want to upset you, really.
I know you love her and have a hard time getting angry at her. But really, as you say, there is no excuse. No excuse that can excuse the abuse of a child, no excuse. Whatever her demons may be, there is no acceptable excuse. None.
You're never invisible, never not important, Straw. At the very least, and maybe it is the most important thing...you are the most important person in the world to you. Sometimes, you have to put yourself first.
You're friend, Tigg.
__________________
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” Dr. Seuss
"The earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed." Gandhi.
War is a racket. The few profit. The many suffer. --Major General Smedley Butler. 2 time congressional Medal of Honor winner.
"The greater the sensibility, the greater the suffering...much suffering." Leonardo da Vinci.
Everybody drank the Kool-Aid.
|
|
|
|
|