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comments and opinions would be great.

This is a discussion on comments and opinions would be great. within the Creative Depression Writing forums, part of the Feeding the Fire category; The rain falls slowly as her alarm goes off. She smiles as she looks out the window, dark, wet, cold, ...

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Old 07-17-06, 07:44 PM   #1
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
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The rain falls slowly as her alarm goes off. She smiles as she looks out the window, dark, wet, cold, rainy, a wonderful day. A wonderful day for her suicide. The rainwater cascades harder and thunder rumbles in the distant. It’s as if the world knows…knows today is her last. She picks up the letter she spent so long on and folds in neatly….the bottle of pills, along with her razors, her books for the day(not that she’d need them). She throws them all into her bookbag. She quickly gets ready and takes one last glance at the place she called home. It had so many memories all stored into the walls…but the only ones she could remember were the ones she didn’t want to. She walked slowly out the door and into the heavy rain. This was the last time she would walk these steps. She took each footstep little by little, being very persistent, absorbing every moment and allowing every raindrop to strike her. As she climbed onto the bus, she wondered if she’d made the right decision. Was it really time for her to leave this world?

To the back of the bus in the very last seat all alone she sits as she watches the raindrops race down the window. She smiles again for the 2nd time in months. Contentment and excitement run through her veins as she knows it will all be over soon. She came to this decision about a week ago. The typical drama b/w friends and foes at school, constant arguing with her parents, the nightmares that followed her into her sleep, it was all too much. But the last straw was when she looked into the mirror..really looked at herself and realized she was everything that she hated. she obtained every characteristic that she hated in everyone else. Every flaw she saw in her friends and family she possessed.

How did she let her life get this far out of control? How did she let herself turn into this? The bus continued on its path as she removed the blade from her purse. No one noticed her, she didn’t exist. She thought of her life when she was just a child, as she placed the blade on her wrist. She thought of when she was innocent and loved, as she pushed down hard, and finally she hoped that death was just like deep sleep and there was no hell as she dragged the blade across her flesh…..

The blood came pouring out…and she watched it flow.. covering her pants and the seat in a crimson liquid. she smiled as she looked out the window one last time .. dizzy and light-headed she closed her eyes and slipped into the unknown.
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Old 07-18-06, 11:58 PM   #2
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
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this story really hits home..i hope it's only a story. i can recal way too many rainy high school days hiding my pain (emotional and physical). I know it's cliche but things do get better, or at least you'll begin to realize what's important and what is not. good luck and good writing.
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