3 am
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Feeding the Fire > Creative Depression Writing


3 am

This is a discussion on 3 am within the Creative Depression Writing forums, part of the Feeding the Fire category; Its in the small hours of the morning that the brain tends to wonder. Finally realizing things that you dare ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-01-17, 02:45 AM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 2
Default 3 am

Its in the small hours of the morning that the brain tends to wonder. Finally realizing things that you dare not think. In these hours as you sit on your bed hoping that sleep will take you at any moment. In these very minutes the brain finds the bad and the good in life and lays it all out.
This list of endless information displayed in your mind. As you sit and think about facts and figures, calculating the sum total of your very existence you can't find a good or happy thought to even out the bad. Looking through the files in your head you see the fleeting moments of happiness or fleeting bits of accomplishment. The question rises like it always does?.?why??
It is no longer ?why am I here??, or ?why is this happening to me?? because part of growing up is realizing that those questions will never have an answer. Instead you think ?why do I continue?? And it is a just question, fair in every way. You think and think but the answer is always the same. The answer isn't because you are doing something right, or because you are happy, because you haven't and you are not. It is simply because the people you love want to see you live. So tomorrow when you think back on your 3 am thoughts of not living, about stopping your hearts beat you can feel bad for almost taking yourself from your family.
So here I am, 3 in the morning, wanting to go to sleep permanently. Thinking about not ever having to take narcolepsy medication, no more being told I'm useless, no more pain, no more of this daily sadness this dark pit in your soul, and in these moments I am free but in the next I am chained. I can not take my life, I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, a lover, and a friend. My pain can stay if I truly am all these things. My freedom from everything can wait if I truly love them. I will do what I must. Always.

SK94
SweetKitten94 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-17, 01:47 AM   #2
Senior Member
 
WinnerButLoner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,668
My Mood:
Default

no dont give up 3 am thaoughts can be deadly. keep going
__________________
Pay attention to what people do and not what they say
WinnerButLoner is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-18, 07:08 AM   #3
New Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 2
Default

I'm not giving up. As I said I am chained to this world by those who love me. I can not leave, not if I truly love them.
SweetKitten94 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:02 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2