My behaviour over the last few months have included episodes every few weeks of where I would fly off the handle for the smallest reason ever. It leads to aggressive, and hurtful behaviour towards people I would never think of acting towards such as my partner and friends.
I've recently upset and annoyed a friend greatly and now i feel immensely guilty. I don't understand why I say those things but I can't seem to stop myself, neither do I think the effect of what I say has on them.
But I know my behaviour needs changing , its affecting my partner and everytime I do become verbally abusive, a few hours later I end up trapped in my head. Where it essentially feels like I cannot escape from these tormenting feelings of guilt, disgrace, failure and most of the time my thoughts wander to self harm though I can never act on them.
Can someone tell me if they've experienced something similar? And if I'm int he right place? I just want some help on my behaviour, I don't want to hurt any more friends with my disgusting behaviour.