it has been a very hard week. my son was hospitalized. everywhere I turned I heard the word "policy"
this is our policy..we have to keep him because it's our policy..you can't talk to him, we won't tell you about him..because of policy.
and then I wrote to my doc, to refill a prescription, and I found out I needed an appointment because it was the "policy"
and I lost it.
I didn't swear or anything. but I said I didn;t need medicine or treatment anymore because I lost faith in the healthcare system. and I am gonna take care of myself.
then I deleted my account.
I hadn't been eating, or sleeping properly. I forgot my own meds for a few days. and I was so disheartened. I saw the word policy,I thought " oh, I am just a body with symptoms that falls under a certain category in a policy" and I wasn't really mad, just I didn't care. I wanted to run down the street as far as I could without stopping to get away from everything.
instead I email my doc that mean thing.
I can't get another email out( my account is closed). So I guess on monday I can go and write a letter and just leave it at the desk.
I burned a lot of bridges lately. a lot.
my son is home now. I want to stay stable and healthy to help him. Even if the doc doesn't take me back as a patient, i just want to apologize.
I feel so mean right now.