Maybe I'm bipolar?
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Maybe I'm bipolar?

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Old 11-15-11, 05:15 PM   #1
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Question Maybe I'm bipolar?

I seriously go from complete, all-pervasive apathy to being totally fine and in a positive, even optimistic frame of mind, feeling like I can handle my responsibilities. It's like my head just clears momentarily after extended periods of depression/utter carelessness. It would be nice to get myself on a more even keel... I've quit drinking (which definitely does NOT help my situation), and am getting back into a healthy diet/lifestye/exercise routine. I've done this before, and can sustain it for sometimes relatively long periods of time before randomly falling off. I guess I just have to get better at catching myself sliding back into the dark abyss.

Anyone else like this?
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Old 11-15-11, 05:40 PM   #2
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I don't think its bipolar. I think its a fear of happiness, satisfaction, and good feeling. I have experienced this before and I was consisently up and down. Finally, I had to admit to myself that I believed I didn't deserve happiness. Being in negativity was self punishment. And, I was scared of who I'd be if I really could succeed. Question your motives for your change in behavior.
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Old 11-15-11, 05:58 PM   #3
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Whoa, interesting insights. I think you're right, too. I definitely self-sabotage... I think part of it is a fear of success/happiness, but I don't know why that is or how to even begin to dissect it. Maybe just acknowledging the irrational impulse to sabotage and recognizing its illegitimacy could keep me on the right track? Thanks for your feedback.
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Old 11-15-11, 06:13 PM   #4
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Well, Robert Firestone believes we self sabatoge for the reasons I described but also because of something he witnessed in therapy. He found that many people seemed sad or uncomfortable when describing the good qualities about themselves. It brings them back to childhood, where the wounds are deepest.

Just keep that in your awareness. Just ask yourself why you fear those things. The truth really will help to set you free.
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Old 11-15-11, 06:16 PM   #5
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Ask yourself: How would I feel if I could be what I truly wanted to be? What is this fear telling you?
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Old 11-15-11, 06:43 PM   #6
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Also, if one has associate failure to pleasure, it can be understood why failure is appealing. For example, if a child received a lot of love and attention after failing at something, this may have created a connection between failure and pleasure.
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Old 11-16-11, 06:05 PM   #7
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Whoa, ElCascabel, you sound exactly like me. I've wondered lately if I'm bi-polar, too.

I hope you get through this. Everybody deserves to be happy.
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