god. this is making me go insane. I don't even know what to say really.
So this is the end of the first week (that I've been home) where I've had to deal with Bipolar II on my own. I mean, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, if I wasn't still handling the previous problems and diagnosis' (is that even a word O.o) I've dealt with over the past year or so (GAD, ADHD (minor, not very problematic, but still on medication) and 'compulsive over-eating' <----i didn't even know that was a mental disorder, but apparently its catagorized as a ED, who knew.)
Not to mention, all the other little things that go on in my brain that are described as 'abnormal' in this society. I mean, I'm just about to turn 16, should we really have to deal with all this at such a young age (and any age for that matter)
anyways, I'm rambling, like I always do. What was I talking about? oh yeah. Bipolar. Right now, I'm in what they call a 'manic state' which means. I'm hyper, 'happy' , and over active (maybe the reason for the rambling. hm?) But i've learned taht within the next few hours I will (m ost likely) fall into a very very deep depressive state, which are horrible. you literally go numb. the only thing you feel is worthlessness. A constant thought that runs through my head in this state is "You're not worth it, no one will ever love you.' Harsh? I know.
Meh. I don't even know whats the point of posting this -shrug- maybe it's the mania, the doctors said wanting to talk a lot is a symptom of a manic state, so i guess it makes sense. (: but for now, I'm content, not happy, but content. And i find this 100x better than the downfall that is soon to come.
P.s. if you're wondering about the medication, the Mood Stabalizers don't kick in for another week or so. So for now, you guys get uppy downy Emma!