I feel crazy. I've been hypomanic the last couple weeks - a relief because the depressive period had been a very long and dark one
But I also have mixed cycles - days where I have dark thoughts and feelings and such but with the energy and discomfort/constant need to move, racing and spinning thoughts of hypomania..
Days when I'm just angry, irritable - with myself, with everyone, sad, ... and just not know what to do about it. I hate that. I try not to take it out on my gf -but she can still see that I'm mad (about nothing or just something tiny) and I think it hurts her sometimes. :sad:
And when I'm like this, it can be really difficult to communicate.
I lose my line of thought constantly, or repeat myself, miss what others say, lose interest, and/or be annoyed and not really want to listen to anyone.. at all.
I hate that.
My moods aren't really stable at all.. simple things just make me crash. The energy and spinning craziness doesn't go away though.
It's nice having more energy, but I'm still often tired lately..
Idk what else to say except that I wish I knew what to do about my gf who is particularly enjoying her depression at the moment (yay!, right?) :P
and I don't know how to help. I have to go to class or whatnot and can't make her get up... I often call at 11 and/or 12 but over the phone I can't make her get up.. I wish I knew how to help, how to be more supportive..
but it's hard to talk.. I don't really know how, and don't know how to accept or ask for help.
I'm just spinning my wheels. :(
and spinning inside my head.
(and I need to get organized.. :P among many other things)