Too scared to leave my room
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Too scared to leave my room

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Old 09-05-09, 06:00 PM   #1
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
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Default Too scared to leave my room

I'm 19 years old and I'm really scared to leave my room/house because I know people are going to judge me. Basically, I'm really unattractive, and when i go outside and see everyone else I just feel like crying because i am literally the ugliest person in the room.

I've been thinking really morbid thoughts for about 3 months now and recently started cutting myself a week ago. I finally worked up the courage to tell my parents that I wanted to die but they just seem to think it's a phase. My brother(he's 22) also said that if I really felt like I wanted to die i wouldn't have told anyone, and that I should stop bothering my parents because I'll almost be 20 and i need to be more independant. Now I can't even begin to explain how lonely I feel.

Him saying that has made me want to die even more because now i feel guilty for ruining my parents lives. I just want to go away because i don't really have a place in my family anymore.

I had to deal with a lot of stuff in my childhood and i used to lock myself away and not socialize at all...now it's catching up with me cause my friends don't really care about me at all. I'm just sick of everything.

I don't know what to do
my birthday is in a month and i really don't think i can face turning 20...there's no point at all
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Old 09-05-09, 09:34 PM   #2
 
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First off, even if you aren't the most attractive person in the world, I'm pretty safe in saying that there are thousands, if not more, of people out there far uglier than you are.

Second, I understand what it's like to feel super-self-conscious. If your appearance is bothering you, staying in your room and dwelling upon how much you loathe yourself is only going to make your problem worse, both physically and emotionally. So, what I recommend is getting a makeover! :P

You don't have to be embarrassed about it, either. Be confident, and believe in yourself! I guarantee that you'll feel way more comfortable in public if you find yourself more physically appealing. I know that your looks aren't the base of your problems, but I can tell that they're obstructing a more positive outlook on life, among other things. After all, confidence is the key to any social situation. Besides, 95% of your concerns regarding what other people think about you are totally in your head. Just remember that when you're feeling awkward. I don't know anyone who goes around whispering shallow comments about strangers whom they see walking down the street. Even if there are a couple people that you encounter that are like that, they're not even worth stressing yourself out over.

Still, it sounds like you isolated yourself a lot while you were a kid. I used to do that a ton, too. So, to an extent, I understand what you mean. Also, you shouldn't feel badly about telling these things to your parents. It's their job to listen to you and help you through hardships, even if you're not a child anymore. It's only natural that you're stressed out. You're trying to become independent, which is great, but there's a lot of stress that goes along with that. I'm gonna be totally honest with you: Your brother is wrong. Don't let him guilt trip you about going to your parents for help. I mean it. That's what parents are for. I'm sure that this is hard on all of you, but you'll pull through it.

Hang in there, HM. You're gonna be okay. You had the courage to confess the problems you've been facing, and I respect you for that. I have faith in you! :)

Last edited by Jolteon; 09-05-09 at 09:36 PM.
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Old 09-06-09, 01:33 PM   #3
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yea get out and enjoy yourself while your still young. Know that doesnt make much sense when your 19 but life is short dude. Screw what other people think. Just be you man and if people dont like you for it then there not worth having around. Good luck man and hang in there. Life is to short
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Old 09-14-09, 03:33 AM   #4
 
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hey, people who judge you aesthetically aren't worth the trouble anyway. It really is what's on the inside that counts. To me you sound caring and considerate, trying to make your parents happy and being concerned that your friends don't care for you so much now, and they are amazing qualities for a person to have. It is good to feel you have an image that makes you feel attractive though and can completely alter your mood.

I think Jolteon is spot-on; its your birthday soon so try to have something to look forward to such as a new wardrobe/haircut. It's also my birthday on the 16th and I hate being the centre of attention but the plan is to spend most of it with one friend as parties are DEFINITELY not my thing lol.

To me, life isn't pre-determined by fate or "what is meant to be" and its what we try to make out of it that is important. If you are really struggling to control your negative thoughts and feelings it could definitely be worth seeing a councillor. Suicide isn't the answer many of us have been there but life can only get better from when you're at the bottom.
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