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Studying anxiety

This is a discussion on Studying anxiety within the Anxiety forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I think anxiety has reach a point where its bordering on being a type of crippling emotion. Today I went ...

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Old 03-12-14, 09:17 AM   #31
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I think anxiety has reach a point where its bordering on being a type of crippling emotion. Today I went to a job fair, see if I had some luck at a new job. Like in past cases, I would have a few resumes ready. The thing is that I didn't find them. They were not where I usually left them. A few seconds after looking and not finding and I began feeling anxious. My mind began rushing again and I felt like I was going to cave in. I had to remind myself to calm down, to take a few breaths. I ended up going without finding them but at least I didn't need them since more and more companies are adopting the electronic applications so they don't take in resumes.

While at the fair I saw a few things that brought back some unwanted memories. The air force had a booth set up as well as one of the more professional flight simulators set up. I was disheartened seeing it because it reminded me where I was almost 8 years ago now. I know I shouldn't let that get to me but it still does.
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Old 03-12-14, 02:48 PM   #32
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I have a lot of respect for all the things you're doing, especially helping family out. (I know I'd have such resentment boiling up in me if certain family members didn't help enough but you don't sound resentful, only focused on the needs of the moment.)

What do you think of meditation? I had never been interested, but a friend of mine insisted I do something to stop being angry all the time and relax -- and pointed me to the UC of San Diego's MBSR program. There are links to tapes of theirs there for free, and I listen to them all the time. They are very well done. A speaker guides you along and you just listen. It's a little like self-hypnosis.

Afterwards I always feel like I've done something good for myself, same as if I'd exercised.

This is it: MBSR Guided Audio Exercises - UC San Diego Health System
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Old 03-14-14, 09:18 PM   #33
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I looked into the meditation link you sent.

I find myself able to sort of disconnect myself from my problems somewhat while listening to them. The mountain one is very useful. I just wish I could make the effect more permanent so that even when I wasn't listening, I could retain that sense of peace. Hopefully with practice, the effect will be noticeable in regular life. I know I definitely would like to be able to stop being anxious over everything.

Last time (just yesterday) I ended up feeling like crap when I shut down while I was having a conversation. I wished I could have taken back what I said or failed to say as well...
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Old 03-15-14, 10:34 AM   #34
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It seems that even writing about what's happening to me in daily life triggers anxiety? After listening to the meditation files, I started writing a journal again, something to keep track of my thoughts and hopefully to be able to learn with. After the first paragraph, while I was writing about the "learn to accept yourself" event that had happened, I suddenly became tense and short of breath and I started feeling that I was beginning to cave in again. Why?

I stopped writing the entry and quickly made a small note on the journal recording the anxiety episode. I don't understand why this was triggered though.
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Old 03-18-14, 08:44 AM   #35
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Well, Im really going to be on edge for a while, my bag got stolen with my keys, wallet, credit cards, all of them in it in it......
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Old 03-24-14, 01:20 AM   #36
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I'm having a little trouble even typing this because right now I'm sort of bordering in another anxiety episode so I apologize if ita confusing in any part.

Anxiety is becoming more and more of a sort of being caught between a rock and a hard place. I know that if I make mistakes in the things I do, regardless of how insignificant, they can become anxiety triggers mainly due to hearing the voices from the past. Its an instant and quickly escalating type of thing. In seconds I can go from "its just a little mistake" to "its a mistake" to "it may be a big mistake" to "how could I be so stupid to have done that" to anxiety/panic attack.

The other side of the coin isn't any more promising because if I stay idle, if I'm not constantly doing something, I will begin doing any of the following whether individually or combined: pacing, eating: thinking excessively and/or aloud (people have at times told me that they were talking to me and I was not paying attention. At least that's nicer than insulting me with saying than I'm some "special child". I've also been asked what I'm whispering about) writing and erasing what I wrote and among the more dangerous ones is remembering the days of self harm and wondering why I shouldn't do it again.

I also can't stand people, can't stand work (sometimes I feel like not going) want to get out because I feel suffocated but stop myself thinking that I musn't use any gas unnecessarily because its gonna cost me later on.

if my mind is not working, it becomes a possible trigger and if it is, what is being at the moment can also become a trigger as well.

Right now I should be in bed since I have to work in the morning and I can't even shut my eyes close. I'm merely looking at the looping menu of a movie I was watching. I'm not sure what to do and its driving me crazy :(
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Old 03-24-14, 09:58 AM   #37
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Wow this is awful. I can relate about the voices of the past and not being able to stand people. I'm sorry your wallet was stolen btw.

I think you should go a crisis center and let them put you on meds or refer you to a specialist.

When I get like that, one of two things helps: mindfulness and self-talk.

I'm still not sure which one is better. I really enjoy talking to myself. It gives me joy. But mindfulness sounds very promising because you're divorcing yourself from the mind for good, potentially freeing yourself of all suffering! Eckhart Tolle says that it's impossible to argue with a conscious person and that conscious living frees you from drama.
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Old 03-31-14, 08:10 PM   #38
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I've been trying to incorporate more meditation in my daily life. Its quite a challenge since my mind always needs to be running so relaxing isn't easy to come by.

It is a bit of a cruel irony that one of the things that I enjoy most is also a cause for the discomfort brought by anxiety. One of the things that is suggested is not to think too much because over thinking leads to over worrying which in turn leads to impulsive reactions that lead to trouble. This is one of the reasons (apart from how I feel about others in general) why I prefer to be alone or distant. Its a tiring thing to do at times because of the tug of war inner feelings.

I wonder, how effective are herbal teas in helping to cool down anxiety?
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Old 03-31-14, 08:25 PM   #39
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Well, they're better than nothing, but they're nowhere near as effective as medication.

Is there a way you can readjust to the people around you? After all, it seems pretty impossible in your situation to keep your distance. Is there anything about people you like?
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Old 03-31-14, 08:43 PM   #40
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That they keep their distance. I know its not something that's very possible but for me, I prefer that others leave me to my space.

I can play the usual social greetings and such but I can only go so long before it feels like others are intruding in my space. Its hard to do because if I'm too distant, people try to incorporate me into their groups, talks, plans (co worker literary took my food tray once and placed it on her table and told me to come sit with her and her friend. I know its not something that should be considered bad and its not in a sense but if I'm eating alone, I just want to be left alone to eat in peace) However if I appear too interested, it gives others the impression that I want to be part of their group which in turn causes the same effect as being distant.
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