Okay, I've been diagnosed with social anxiety (among other stuff...) just couple weeks ago. I knew I was like that before of course, but it's official now.
It's gotten alot worse than I thought, let me tell you what just happened.
I'm living with my mother temporarily again since I had to move out of my apartment from other city to get treatment here (to depression mainly). I'm sitting at my computer in my room, watching youtube videos and stuff. Just killing time. My mother popped into my room and said that she'll go to a pub nearby with her friend. I said okay. They leave and my older sister comes here and asks where mom has gone. I say to the pub. She said that she'll be going too and I should join em. I say no. (never been there, literally zero interest in that place and people in it). She says okay.
She calls her cellphone and turns out she invited our familyfriend who lives closeby to try talk me into going to the pub (she was going there too...). I tell her that I don't want to go. Then she keeps on asking, on and on and on and says stuff like "When you were younger you were such a nice and lively kid, what happened?" I'm getting really anxious now and am only shaking my head. Then she triest different tactic "Maby he's afraid of all the girls coming on to her in there, my god what a handsome man he has grown." This is all just absolute rubbish and I know it, she must know it, and I get really frustrated and feel like I should say something to her but I just can't get a word out. My forehead started to sweat just from the anxiety. At this point she says "Okay, if you're not coming with us today, you're coming with us the next time. Promise?" I shook my head, I don't want to make false promises because I know for a fact that I will never go with them. Then she started all over again and I couldn't take it anymore. I said yes I'll go next time just to get her out of there.
They left and I realized I was damn well near having a complete panic attack just because they asked me to go to the pub. That's not normal.
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."
“Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence."
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."