This sounds so dumb and I'm embarrassed talking about it, but I don't know what to do. For probably the last 8 years, I've been taking otc sleeping pills in excessive amounts every single night. I believe it started as an escape from the problems in my life. I hated the process of falling asleep because it left me alone with my thoughts, so the sleeping pills made me not have to deal with them. Years later I've upped the dose to 20 diphenhydramine hcl gel caps, which is 1000 mg. It's been so long that I've conditioned my brain to pair taking them with reducing anxiety. So now if I try to take a smaller amount or not any at all, I get extremely anxious feeling that I need them. More recently, I feel like my vision gets blurry but the next morning it goes back to normal. I'm worried that if I continue, I might wake up with my vision still being blurry. I'm very upset with myself and the few attempts that I've tried to take less, I cave in within like 5 minutes. I just don't know what to do and I was hoping to hear anyone going through the same thing, especially if they were successful in overcoming it.