Hi, I'm new here and not sure where to post this but it just helps to vent.
When I was 10 I had meningitis, it left me with pretty severe anxiety issues, I'm 22 now and it's probably the worst it's been.
I had glandular fever a few months ago and it's left me pretty messed up, lost my job over it, currently just spend my time drinking with friends and smoking cigarettes.
But the days just seem to be getting darker, after a night of drinking I can't bounce back like I used to, I feel tired 24/7 and it's definitely straining my relationship with my family.
For the first time in 12 years I built up the courage to speak to my mum about it, the anxiety and what seems like oncoming depression, she instantly disputed the statement and said I'm fine and to get over it.
Don't get me wrong she's a good parent, but she seemed to take it as a personal offence that I wasnt happy, and then I ended up having to cheer her up whilst I was still feeling awful.
I don't want to talk to my friends about it but here seems like a good place to vent.
I just find it so hard to enjoy things, unless I'm drunk but I don't even enjoy that anymore, it feels like I'm slowly being crushed and I wish I was exaggerating but I'm not, I don't take medication because I don't want a crutch.
But I guess I just want someone to understand how I feel, and acknowledge it, I have plenty of friends and supportive people around me but I don't think they'd understand. For the first time in my life I feel like I've got no where to turn and it's terrifying
Sorry for the long post but I just needed to get it off my chest