Skipped a class this morning just bc I was anxious about going and feeling self conscious. It's like all eyes on me, or feeling that way. It's not like, okay, I woke up and decided that I didn't want to go - drove there, waited outside, couldn't get up the courage to go, so went back home.
Is there something to take to make this easier?
I've gotten used to going and doing different things, but these feelings always come back. It's not consistent. Hate not being reliable, and any friends I can make must think I'm a flake.
There are so many activities and choices that I know would be beneficial, but I end up either avoiding them or choosing the wrong things, seems almost like self hatred.
Try not to say, "should do this or that", but it's all the same. If I know it's positive or it involves people, sometimes I just want to crawl in a hole.
There is no affirmation, no encouragement, this is adulthood.