I know this is not a medical board but I had posted in one and got no answer. Also I don't see anything about this in the rules unless I misunderstood (I am very out of it due to my worry)
Long story short I feel like I made a big mistake. I've been having digestive problems for a while now. My GP was lazy. She gave me a blood test and the blood test came out mostly normal. She just prescribed me PPIs after knowing about my symptoms (so the blood test seemed to have nothing to do with it). I'm pretty anti-medicine anyway but I'm not satisfied with taking medicine and not knowing why the heck I have it or what's going on in there. So I went to a gastro doctor, he ordered me an ultrasound and an endoscopy (still don't understand why he did both, wish the ultrasound told me all I needed to know because I know that will be a piece of cake)
Even after researching it and seeing tons of comments about how it's not as big a deal as it seems and is perfectly safe, I still feel like cancelling. I really do want to find out what's going on but I'm way beyond scared. The form they have you sign is what really started my fear. I know the chances are 1 in 1000 but it's hard to tell that to someone who has an irrational fear (this is someone who is scared to learn how to drive and is still iffy about going outside when I see lightning streaks). I feel like the word sedation is what really makes me anxious. Apparently they automatically sedate you. Is that a good thing to not be aware of what's going on? What happens if something goes wrong? They may not spot it and I won't be able to tell them. Also if I'm technically awake I might still fight it because I'll have no control over the situation. I have heightened senses so maybe due to the discomfort sedation is best but at the same time I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea of not knowing what's happening especially if I might end up going to sleep. Plus I obviously have concerns about the sedation drug being safe.
Worse yet if I make it out alive if they don't find anything I'll be left with more questions than answers and all that anxiety will be for nothing.
I know in life you have to take risks sometime but I guess it's the idea that they have to put something in your body that doesn't belong in there (the camera is apparently not that small either)
I don't know why I'm writing this because I feel like there's nothing anyone can say that will help ease my mind but I really don't know what to do.
If I tell the doctors of my concerns they might think with how scared I am it's a bad idea to go through with it and then I will be back to square one. I can't even see the therapist about this because the soonest she has is after the appointment.