Iím so sad. I donít know what to say. I want to die. Social anxiety was ruined my life. It get the best of me. Iím so depressed. I donít have no one to talk to. Donít even trust therapist. Writing this is still hard for me. My disorder made me so worse.
It get worse 3 month la ago. When I tried the last method. Facing the fear. I put all in my effort. Before that I already did many skills and techniques but didnít work. So I said to myself, this is the last shot I do. Facing the fear, social anxiety, and I see it was reasonable. But then couples weeks later, I felt so weird. I felt like everybody know me. The world know me. Like hallucination. Then I tried to came back my old self before. But it was too late. In the process of facing the fear, I did and said things that was not acceptable to my family and neighbors. Because in the process, I thought I was did right. Now I had conflict with my family and neighbors.
Now, everything got worse. Everybody know my bad and weakness. All my secrets I was said before. Now, I canít even live peaceful in my house. Nowhere to go. No one to talk to. No therapy understand. Family hated.
I just wanna die. Social anxiety is over. It canít cureable. It a disease will never be treated. I want to die. I think that is a best solution for me. To release and breath again. No reason to live anymore. This disorder destroyed life, no work or live for the suffer.