I was diagnosed with anxiety a few years ago, never OCD, and yet I have oddly obsessive thoughts. For example, the one causing problems now is my obsession with making memories. They have to be good ones. So for a marriage date, I want 5/10/2015 because it's a palindrome and my boyfriend and I began dating on one - 3/10/2013. That would mean we would have dated for 2 years and 2 months. I'm not trying to rush, that day is just stuck in my head.
He seems to be good with 6/10/2016 instead. I hate June. It causes rage in me, actual rage. Maybe it has something to do with my longest relationship - 4 years - having ended in June of 2011 after my ex cheated on me with a 250 pound fry cook. It also bothers me that most people seem to do it between June and August. I just flat out don't want to.
Not picking a palindrome at all causes me even more anxiety/rage. Then I scrap all plans of marriage at all. This would be my avoidant mode.
I don't know precisely when or why my obsession with memories and numbers began but I've made literally no progress with it. Things just feel right or they feel wrong. I've improved in other areas but haven't taken one step forward with this one. It's the same feeling I get when I bend a book cover too far and it leaves a crease. I can rarely bring myself to continue reading, sometimes I'll flat out quit.
I know it's ridiculous but it's one of my harder flaws to control. :/ But I want to stress - it's not a desire to rush. It's a general hatred of that month and even the numbers. And not a healthy hatred, like oh that's relatively normal...it's reached a point that even I'm like okay now, let's get it together...less obsessing...