Obsessed with numbers and memories
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Obsessed with numbers and memories

This is a discussion on Obsessed with numbers and memories within the Anxiety forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I was diagnosed with anxiety a few years ago, never OCD, and yet I have oddly obsessive thoughts. For example, ...

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Old 01-06-14, 10:56 PM   #1
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Default Obsessed with numbers and memories

I was diagnosed with anxiety a few years ago, never OCD, and yet I have oddly obsessive thoughts. For example, the one causing problems now is my obsession with making memories. They have to be good ones. So for a marriage date, I want 5/10/2015 because it's a palindrome and my boyfriend and I began dating on one - 3/10/2013. That would mean we would have dated for 2 years and 2 months. I'm not trying to rush, that day is just stuck in my head.

He seems to be good with 6/10/2016 instead. I hate June. It causes rage in me, actual rage. Maybe it has something to do with my longest relationship - 4 years - having ended in June of 2011 after my ex cheated on me with a 250 pound fry cook. It also bothers me that most people seem to do it between June and August. I just flat out don't want to.

Not picking a palindrome at all causes me even more anxiety/rage. Then I scrap all plans of marriage at all. This would be my avoidant mode.

I don't know precisely when or why my obsession with memories and numbers began but I've made literally no progress with it. Things just feel right or they feel wrong. I've improved in other areas but haven't taken one step forward with this one. It's the same feeling I get when I bend a book cover too far and it leaves a crease. I can rarely bring myself to continue reading, sometimes I'll flat out quit.

I know it's ridiculous but it's one of my harder flaws to control. :/ But I want to stress - it's not a desire to rush. It's a general hatred of that month and even the numbers. And not a healthy hatred, like oh that's relatively normal...it's reached a point that even I'm like okay now, let's get it together...less obsessing...

Last edited by Glance; 01-06-14 at 10:58 PM.
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Old 01-15-14, 10:07 PM   #2
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This sounds like OCD behaviour to me. Not sure. I think you should talk to a psychologist about this. I wonder if they might be able to help you with it.

I have OCD, but mine is checking to see if the stove is turned off and or if I locked the door. So funny now that I think about it because it hasn't flared up in awhile.

I heard but I'm not sure that OCD is depression related. Again I'm not sure. I think it might get worse if the depression gets worse type of thing. But not sure. I always worry that if my OCD kicks in maybe I'm getting depressed more. I'm not sure though, just heard something over the years.

You just reminded me of "my OCD problem", which hasn't been a problem since I've moved to this apartment. That's good news for me. Thanks.

Anyway, try a psychologist because these Obsessions or OCD behaviour can be "Exhausting to deal with". It can really wear a person down.

I mean sometimes I check the stove 20 times before I leave the house and I check the lock on the door several times before I go. I have this ritual I do and I must do it a certain way and if I don't, I don't feel comfortable and have to do a re-do.

Can you go to a psychologist and check with them and see what they say? IDK, just an idea.
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