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This is a discussion on nights within the Anxiety forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; Nights are so hard. I suddenly become anxious and lose all sense of progress. I start thinking about suicide, quitting ...

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Old 03-06-14, 12:44 AM   #1
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Nights are so hard. I suddenly become anxious and lose all sense of progress. I start thinking about suicide, quitting my job and how far I am from reaching my goals. I am just ready to end it. I go to bed horribly depressed sometimes and depending on my dreams and how I've slept will wake up realizing that I just had a bad bout of anxiety or possibly will still feel bad from the night before. Right now I have so much anxiety and I am very upset about my life. Last night I had a dream that I should start a business, I've been having this lingering idea for months now, but I am not sure that I have the stamina to see it through.

Perhaps I am anxious tomorrow because I have a meeting about preparing my performance review for the whole year, well how to develop it and I am sure we will talk about my performance to date and my boss will ask if I am happy with my job and my answer to that last question is a big fat HELL NO. I have a hard time expressing my feelings tactfully and holding back when I shouldn't express them at all. I feel that depending on what happens tomorrow, I may just say to hell with it and quit. I have no interest in working harder than I already am for something that I have no interest in doing.

I don't know what to do. My life is so miserable right now and nothing is going to be a quick fix.
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Old 03-06-14, 01:26 AM   #2
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Sorry you're feeling anxious. Perhaps you could start a gratitude journal to shift your perspective on your life. Reading about others here helps me put my life in perspective and realize that others have it worse.
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Old 03-06-14, 01:44 AM   #3
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Good idea...there is a silver lining as they say but sometimes it's like pulling teeth to make yourself see it.

I was going to add that I think another thing that has me feeling lousy is that my friend just got funding for his business idea. I am the one who told him about the source. I am sincerely happy for him but sad for myself. I am not jealous in an evil bitter way but in the back of my head I sort of ask myself when am I going to start working on my goals. I guess another way to look at it is to be happy I helped him out. Perhaps i should make a chart like this for everything I am feeling.



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