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My anxiety is ruining my relationship

This is a discussion on My anxiety is ruining my relationship within the Anxiety forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; Originally Posted by Shallow20 I hate the fact he can't have me around his friends cause he said he can't ...

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Old 10-04-17, 09:47 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Shallow20 View Post
I hate the fact he can't have me around his friends cause he said he can't be himself while I'm there? What does that even mean? He won't let me go out with him and he won't let me go to the gym with him I'm also not aloud to celebrate his 21st birthday because he said he's going on holiday with his mates and he said If his mates don't go with him he's going on his own, he doesn't realise how much that hurt! I care and love this man way more than he does me.
Good morning

You say enough about the relationship here. It's one-sided, not reciprocated in any way it seems. Whether or not it's an abusive relationship, you're just being used.

If you don't do anything about things, what is going to change? Is he about to start inviting you to things? Even his birthday? I mean, "if they don't go I'll go alone...", this shows you what you mean to him.

You deserve better, you just need the guts to get out and find better than him. You have a hell of a lot of your life to live. Unless you're happy to just keep being used, in which case I'm sure we'll talk a lot more in this site.

The head does have to rule over the heart sometimes. I think you know all of your answers here, but do not want to lose someone that once did think about you. I would say if you can't leave him altogether now, at least try a break and see what he does.

I repeat, you deserve better than this.
Do not listen to a word I say
Just listen to what I can keep silent
The only way to gain approval
Is by exploiting the very thing that cheapens me
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Old 10-04-17, 04:57 PM   #12
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Hi Shallow

I am with Andino with what he says about it being a one sided, I feel that any anxieties or depression will be unable to lift whilst you are in this sort of relationship. People who are in these types of relationships tend not to see the damage that they are causing to them as they think it is the norm, that is until they break free and enter a loving and equal relationship.

I was going to say that he is bullying you but I would really think it is an abusive relationship, this doesnt mean to say he hits you, but there are many other forms of abuse

Destructive criticism and verbal abuse: shouting; mocking; accusing; name calling; verbally threatening

Disrespect: persistently putting you down in front of other people; not listening or responding when you talk;

Isolation: monitoring or blocking your phone calls, e-mails and social media accounts, telling you where you can and cannot go; preventing you from seeing friends and relatives; shutting you in the house.

These are a couple I sense from your writing.

Please make yourself happy and get out of it before it gets too deep, especially as you would like children. Things are even harder when children become involved.
You could find your anxieties lifting too if you could make that leap of faith and put yourself first.

to you
“Our own worst enemy cannot harm us as much as our unwise thoughts. No one can help us as much as our own compassionate thoughts.” ~Buddha
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