I'm not sure I have social anxiety?
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I'm not sure I have social anxiety?

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Old 07-16-15, 08:37 PM   #1
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Unhappy I'm not sure I have social anxiety?

My social behavior is always becoming worse and worse as time passes. No one in my family relates so it's not genetic. But I'm such a shut in. I remember this started when I was 11-12 years old (I'm 14 now) so I moved to a new school when I was 10 and I was very socially open and sociable etc.. then I started getting bullied and verbally abused at home (physically abused in earlier childhood stopped at age 11). Then I noticed that I'm very uh "silent" the kids in class can't believe how silent I am and how I can keep my silence the teachers call me a peaceful angel. They don't know the backstory behind it I guess. I'm not "silent" I'm actually very loud and talkative at home. I am NOT shy I am very self conscious but not shy. Even in my new school I was bullied so this hatred inside of me is growing strong against people. I haven't gone out since the beginning of the summer vacation because I don't like going out I don't like the rush and the people the strangers the life itself. My parents and family are mad at me because of how much of a shut in I am. No one understands that it really hurts me when someone gets mad because of my poor social skills because they don't know what's behind it. I'm cold, I'm emotionless I don't know or I don't remember what was it like to feel feelings vividly. And whenever someone from school texts me I get really nervous and sweaty because I'm so afraid they'll ask me to hang out and I'm so so scared of texting them in general because they interrupt my "bubble" as if you're having a dream or a goodnight 's sleep and then suddenly someone wakes you up violently. Whenever i remember school I get nervous heck sometimes I get a damn stomach ache and no one understands , I'm isolated but I love it people think
it's not okay but I love it. I get really scared when my family says they're going out because of holidays and I can't say no because it'll get worse. they wouldn't see a psychologist because they're very costly and they think anyone who talks to psychologists is crazy. I don't know how I'll survive the end of this summer because memories are still haunting me. I have a lot of friends because I only use them so I don't sit alone In school, I lose complete touch and
connection when it's summer because my whole life is a big act. I used to be a
very violent kid who abused cats and hit my sister I've never gotten any panic attacks whatsoever but id really like to know if this is social anxiety because I'm so.. afraid of people because I just really hate people. My actual friends are just online. No one understands.
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Old 07-18-15, 06:09 PM   #2
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Some people find it more comfortable to be alone then to be in company. But trust me, if you work on yourself, discover yourself, i sure can bet that you will start to feel better and to feel in general

THere is nothing wrong with being shy and being poorly socially skilled. Many people are like that! But if you practice it, you will get a hand of it. I am sure that deep inside you can still feel some emotions, you just have to discover that part of yourself and cherish it. People are not scary and evil, well most of them arent, i too have a really bad history with people, i as a smart kid who was year younger then rest of classmates was always bullied till i found way to cope with it and to stand up for myself. Even nowadays sometimes i cant do it, but i do have friends. You can find some too, you just need to realize that not all people are evil

I hope you will feel better soon Best wishes~
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