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Old 04-29-12, 01:11 PM   #21
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I feel like im in such a place tonight. Everything keeps coming back to me, Im getting desperate.. i cant stand this :(
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Old 04-29-12, 05:45 PM   #22
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Hi Christina. You need someone to talk to about what's going on. I googled some things for you. I googled "adult survivors of childhood abuse uk", and these were the first three that came up. They offer free phone or online support...

NAPAC: Homepage (free phone support)

Abuse Survivors - Support & Information (online support and coping strategies listed on the left)

HAVOCA - Help for Adult Victims of Child Abuse (click "support" on the left)

This might be somewhat more comfortable for you because they are not medical people. Maybe it's a place to start.
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Old 04-29-12, 05:48 PM   #23
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In the second link above (Abuse Survivors), under 'coping strategies' (on the left side of the page), it explains about flashbacks, which are normal for you to be having. It's not just you - it's common for adults who have been through abuse as a child. It explains some coping techniques that I hope can be helpful to you.
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Old 04-29-12, 11:07 PM   #24
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Thankyou. You're such a help,I didnt know what to do
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Old 04-30-12, 06:45 AM   #25
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It's okay that you haven't read the links yet - in your own time. It sounds like you're having flashbacks possible? And panic attacks. I'll just put the information here for you, so it's easier. I hope it's helpful Christina

Flashbacks are recollections from the past. They may be pictures, sounds, smells, feelings, or the lack of them (numbness). Sometimes there is no actual visual or auditory memory. You may feel panicky, or trapped, you may feel powerless without knowing why. These experiences can also happen in dreams.
As a child you had to protect yourself from the emotional and physical horrors of abuse. In order to survive, that child remained locked inside, unable to express the feelings and thoughts of that time. It is as though we put that part of us into a time warp until it comes out in the present.

When that part comes out, the child in you is experiencing the past as if it were happening today. As the flashback happens, it is as if you forget that you have an Ďadultí self available for comfort, protection and grounding. The extreme feelings and body sensations occurring are so frightening because they are not related to the reality of the present and often seem to come from out of the blue.

We begin to think we are crazy and are afraid of telling anyone about what is happening. We feel out of control and at the mercy of our experiences.

We begin to avoid certain areas and situations, that we think triggered it. Sometimes flashbacks occur during any form of sexual contact, or it may be a person who looks or behaves and reminds you of the person who abused you, or it may be a situation today that stirs up similar trapped feelings (confrontation, angry people).

If you are feeling little... you may be experiencing a flashback. If you are having stronger feelings than you expect to have in the present situation ... you are probably having a flashback

Flashbacks Are Normal

Flashbacks are sometimes called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

The diagnostic category book for psychiatry defines Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as the normal experience of all people experiencing an event that is outside the range of normal human experience.

Flashbacks sometimes make you feel insane because the child in you doesn't know that there is an adult survivor available to help.

What Does Help?

Tell yourself that you are having a flashback.

Remind yourself that the worst is over. The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are memories of the past.

Get Grounded. This means stamping your feet on the ground so that the child knows you have feet and can get away now if you need to. (As a child, you couldn't get away........ now you can).

Breathe. When we get frightened we stop normal breathing. As a result our body begins to panic because we havenít got enough oxygen. Lack of oxygen causes a great deal of panic feelings; pounding in the head, tightness, sweating, feeling faint, shakiness, dizziness. When we breathe deeply enough, a lot of the panic feeling can decrease.

Re-establish to the present. Begin to use your five senses in the present. Look around and see the colours in the room, the shapes of things, the people near, etc. Listen to the sounds in the room; your breathing, traffic, birds, people, cars etc. Feel your body and what is touching it; your clothes, your own arms and hands, the chair or floor supporting you.

Talk to the child in you and tell her she is OK. It is very important that the child knows that the adult is around to take care of her. The child needs to know that it is safe to experience the feelings and let go of the past.

Find your boundaries. Sometimes when we are having a flashback things get out of proportion we lose the sense of where we end and the world begins; as if we do not have skin. Wrap yourself in a blanket, hold a pillow or soft toy, go to bed or sit in a cupboard... anything that you can do to make yourself feel safe.

Get help. You may need to be alone or you may want someone near you. In either case it is important that your friends and relations know about flashbacks so they can help with the process, whether that means letting you be by yourself or being there, whatever is right for you is right.

Take time to regain control. Sometimes flashbacks are very powerful. Don't expect yourself to be able to do adult things immediately. Be kind and look after you, do something that you enjoy. Donít punish yourself; you and your child donít deserve it.

Be patient. It takes time to heal the past. It takes time to learn ways of taking care of you, of being an adult who has feelings and developing effective ways of coping in the here and now.

Find a competent therapist. Look for a therapist who understands the process of healing from incest. A therapist can be a guide, a support, a coach in this healing process. You do not have to do it alone ever again.

Remember this is all a normal part of healing.

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Old 04-30-12, 06:46 AM   #26
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Coping with Panic Attacks*

Panic is a sudden intense response to normal thoughts or sensations. This is often accompanied by a feeling of impending doom, as well as physical symptoms such as:

*- A racing heartbeat.
*- Difficulty breathing.
*- Paralysing terror.
*- Dizziness and/or nausea.
*- Trembling/sweating/shaking.
*- Choking/chest pain.
*- Hot flushes and sudden chills.
*- ‘Pins and needles’.
*- Fear of dying.
These symptoms are reinforced by the sufferer’s thought processes. Sufferers are often determined to avoid situations which they feel will exacerbate their anxiety; this avoidant behaviour has an adverse effect on sufferers’ quality of life.

If the above description fits you, then you are probably suffering panic attacks.

The first thing you should remind yourself is that the situation is not dangerous, and that it will soon pass. Concentrate on your breathing: sit down and breathe in through your nose, slowly counting to 6 as you do so - then breathe out through your mouth, slowly counting to 6. Repeat this process. As you are breathing, think about the process and look at everything around you – this will allow you to ground yourself. Feel your feet on the floor, and touch your clothing - keep breathing slowly, and the panic should pass.

You could also try breathing into a paper bag.

The physical symptoms tend to feel a lot worse than they really are, as concern about them adds an additional layer to your existing worries.

Relax, and remind yourself that you are safe. Continue to breathe slowly, and the panic should pass.

Other suggestions:

*- Keep a diary of your mood and meds.
*- Have a bath, accompanied by candle light. Allow yourself to just lay there, relax, and clear your mind.
*- Call someone, perhaps a friend or a crisis-line, and offload to them - they may be able to help.
*- Don't enjoy simply relaxing? Keep busy instead – this can help to occupy your mind, giving you less chance to spend time worrying.
*- Go out with friends, have a laugh, and see what life really has to offer. Maybe stay with a friend or member of your family at particularly difficult times.
*- Speak with your Mental Health Teams, and help them to understand your worries.
*- Play a game, or do something similarly recreational, to cheer yourself up (have a look at the fun pages).
*- Treat yourself to something, and make yourself feel special - because you are!
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Old 04-30-12, 06:49 AM   #27
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Here is support from the National Association for People Abused in Childhood (NAPAC). For when you're ready, and if you want it...


NAPAC supports survivors, and supporters of survivors, in many different ways.

Freephone telephone support line

NAPAC provides the only national freephone support line for adults who have suffered any type of abuse in childhood. Because of the large volume of calls we are sorry that many people are unable to get through. Unfortunately, we do not have the resources to call you back which also means that any answerphone messages cannot be answered.

Call 0800 085 3330 for free from landlines, 3, Orange and Virgin mobile phones.
Call 0808 801 0331 for free from O2, T-Mobile and Vodafone mobile phones.

Telephone support line opening hours:

Email support

You can also contact our email support service by emailing [email protected]. The support team will respond to your email as quickly as possible.
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Old 04-30-12, 08:28 AM   #28
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I cried so much when I read all that.. thats exactly me... it hurts so much.. Ive emailed them. Have to wait for a reply, which can take a while.. there are forums, so im going to try and have a look.. thank-you so much. if I could hug you I would!!! xxxx
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Old 04-30-12, 10:04 AM   #29
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I'm really sorry if it's overwhelming for you, but know that you are not alone okay? There are many others who are also going through this. And there is lots of support available.

I'm really glad that you emailed NAPAC! I hope they are a great support to you.

Maybe you want to stick with NAPAC. But, I'm also going to post more resources for you below. I know it can look overwhelming. Maybe it's good for you to see how much support is available. The list will just be there for any time you may need other resources in the future. Hope I'm not throwing too much at you at once. You don't have to read it all now.

Christina, it's my pleasure to do this for you. I feel good that I can do something. You can get through it. Not overnight, and it's far from easy... but a lot of people have your back now.
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Old 04-30-12, 10:09 AM   #30
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Resources which may be of use to people who were abused as children

National Association

NAPAC, The National Association for People Abused in Childhood
42 Curtain Road
London EC2A 3NH
Support for adult survivors of any form of childhood abuse. Offers postal support, advice and guidance, including information about local services. WRITE to contact.

National Helplines
Breaking Free
Suite 23-25, Marshall House
124 Middleton Road
Surrey SM4 6RW
020 8648 3500
Primarily for women. Also face-to-face and group support sessions, support by letter. Quarterly newsletter. Info and referral service for male and female survivors and professionals.

206 Hessle Road
Hull HU3 3BE
01482 325552 (Mon-Fri 9.30am-4pm)
Telephone and face-to-face counselling for adults who have been abused as children and for their families.

Family Matters
13 Wrotham Road
Kent DA11 0PA
01474 537392 (Helpline)
(Mon-Sun 10am-12, 2-4pm,7-8.30pm) Offers counselling, listening and information to adults and children aged 8 and over.

Women's Counselling Services
office: 0845 123 23 25
helpline: 0845 123 23 24
We are a rape crisis centre and also offer free and low cost counselling to women and girls who have experienced childhood or adult sexual, physical , psychological abuse

Regional Helplines for Men
MASH Men as Survivors Helpline
PO Box 58
82 Colston Street

Helpline 0117 90 77 100
(Thurs 7-9pm)
Telephone counselling.

Survivors (Swindon)
c/o Focus
25 Morley Street
Swindon SN1 1SG
Helpline No : 0845 430 9371 - General/Admin No. 0870 950 3567

We offer support to adult male survivors of child sexual abuse and adult sexual assaults, by providing a unique therapy experience, run by Survivors for Survivors, in which to overcome the traumas of your abusive past, and live your life.

We support adult male survivors of sexual abuse from around the world, and provide counselling sessions to male survivors, in group sessions, prisons, hostels, day centres and other agencies. See here for more details.
We are a regionally based, nationally recognised, & internationally known agency, providing specialised training to NHS Trusts, Social Services, Victim Support, Police and numerous agenices working with vulnerable adults. This site covers all aspects of sexual abuse, focusing on the strength and courage we possess, and leaving the past where it belongs!

Resources for or concerning Children
London N1 0BR
Tel. 0800 1111
Deaf/hearing impaired helpline: 0800 400222
Confidential telephone counselling service for children.
Web address: http://www.childline.org.uk/

2 Grosvenor Gardens
London SW1W 0DH
020 7730 3300
Aims to prevent the abuse of children through educating parents and children.

NCH Action for Children
85 Highbury Park
London N5 1UD
020 7704 7000 - (not a helpline)
Voluntary organisation whose services include specialist treatment centres for sexually abused children. They have a child protection advisor. Various projects throughout the country.

NSPCC Child Protection Helpline
080 8800 3333 (public tel)

0800 056 0566 (minicom helpline)
If you know or suspect that a child is being abused you can ring this 24 hour helpline to talk to a trained social worker who will listen to your worries and advise on what steps to take. You do not have to give your name and calls, which are free, will not appear on an itemized phone bill.

Helplines specifically for people who have learning difficulties
Ann Craft Trust(Formerly NAPSAC)
Centre for Social Work
University of Nottingham
University Park
Nottingham NG7 2RD
0115 951 5400 (Mon-Thurs 8.30am-4.00pm,Fri 8.30am –12 noon)
National information and advice service on all aspects of sexual abuse/exploitation of adults and children with learning difficulties, for parents and involved professionals.

3rd Floor
24-32 Stephenson Way
London NW1 2HD
0845 606 1503 (helpline) (Mon-Fri 1.30pm-5pm)
For people with learning difficulties who have experienced or perpetrated sexual abuse, their carers and professionals. Also provides psychotherapy to parents who have learning disabilities.

Helplines for those who have experienced abuse in a ritual setting
PO Box 1557
Salisbury SP1 2TP
01722 410889
Times of helpline vary, please call for recorded details of opening times.)
National helpline for people who have been abused in a ritual setting. Offers support and information.

National Newsletters
Fighting Back
P O Box 25
136/138 Kingsland High St
London E8 2N
£7-10 for subscription depending on income. Some of the organisations listed above under national and local helplines also produce newsletters.
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