Hate this Social Anxiety
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Hate this Social Anxiety

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Old 12-01-13, 07:20 PM   #1
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Default Hate this Social Anxiety

There is 1 thing in my life that has damaged it. It causes me to sink back into depression, caused me to argue with my family, frustrates me and reduces me from having any quality of life..... SOCIAL ANXIETY!!

Failed school and college.... Due to SA, was unable to focus, was often nervous there... Had bad results. No chance of university as a result, thus no chance of a decent job.

Failed relationships... Either they didn't understand SA or I didnt tell them and they were fed up with my excuses as to why I couldnt attend their friends and family's weddings, partys or go for days out with them and their friends.

No friends... Found it hard to keep or make friends previously, now I have none, no chance of meeting them either.


My daily pattern seems made up of nothing, get up, check computer, sit there for hours, smoke cigarettes, watch tv, eat, smoke more, go on comp more.


Out in public I am nervous as hell. Even when standing in a queue to buy something from a shop my nerves play me up. my mind goes blank and I cant make eye contact with anyone.... It makes me feel low so I stay in the house.


I have been relying on alcohol. Have seen so many dr's, none of them seem to understand it.


Alcohol has been damaging my life even more. I don't drink much and I am not addicted, but when I do drink, it gets rid of my SA for a while, I feel normal for a bit of time.... Until I start making an idiot of myself, then the next day i'm full of regret. It's slowly got to that point where the regret and depressed feeling the next day has outweighed the few hours I get without SA.


It always comes round to the same thing... Stop drinking, full stop... Which I can quite easily do. But then when I do go out in public and not drink, i'm back to nervous ways which get's me down.... Or I can just stay in the house and have no life at all.


Drinking = Not good for my health, brings in the lowest feelings I have ever experienced the next day.

Going alcohol free = Will just stay at home 24/7, have no life, lose motivation and sink into bad depression again. When I do go out without alcohol, my SA takes control, I am nervous, I know people look at me like im dumb, on drugs or just weird, which also slowly puts me back into depression/feeling low.

When I try and talk to people I remotely know about it, I am told to stop attention seeking.... but this is way beyond attention seeking
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Old 12-02-13, 08:28 AM   #2
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Pfft and what rubbish. I have just been forced into doing something which will really mess me up even more.

I have told family so many times that I find it difficult to go to town without going to the pub. I have explained how ill going to the pub makes me feel. The whole depressed feeling the next day.

But nope, they have booked something for me today, I have to go to town, pick something up for them.... When I could of done it tomorrow or later in the week, which would be longer after my last drinking session.

Now I either have to go and drink before going there, so my week is already ruined or I can not drink, make an idiot of myself and get home feeling low and ill :/.... Great
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Old 12-02-13, 09:41 AM   #3
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I, too, gave up the drink recently and I've been working a lot on my social confidence (as I only seemed to have it when I had about 10+ pints in my system). It's a long, tough journey, I never thought I had social anxiety but something happened in my life (now's not the time to go into it) and now I just HATE other humans and going outside, even if it's just to the corner shop for a ten deck so I can do the same as you, sit there, smoke, go on computer, smoke some more.

What I've been doing is a lot of excercise and eating healthily to try and get in better shape (not assuming you need to be in better shape but...) it really does help! I'm not sure what else I can say as mine's mainly just when I'm walking somewhere alone. I'm sure you can get medication for anxiety though, so it might be worth looking into that,

all the best.
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Old 12-03-13, 08:47 AM   #4
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Thanks for the reply.

I always found with alcohol that perhaps for most people who have SA, alcohol does help but like with myself, too often the case is people do not just have SA but things like depression too so having depression and consuming a depressant = not good.

You have some good points there and I really think with new year coming up that could be a new step for me. Been thinking about it for a few days now and funnily enough I remember about 5 years ago when I did try healthy eating for a while, I was feeling a bit more confident and more motivated.

With it being close to new year, it will give me a bit more motivation to stick to the new healthy plans too. I think I can try cutting out energy drinks, pizza nearly every day and limit myself to just 5 cigarettes a day.

I will go and see a dr again about medication to control anxiety, previous visits were not too successful but if there is a chance of getting medication to help, I could try again.

Feeling a bit more positive today
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Old 12-03-13, 09:51 AM   #5
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I'm glad to hear it :) I've been doing the same thing more or less, but I had a bit of a problem with alcohol for a while until I recently went sober so I got some withdrawal from that and giving up all fatty foods as well as trying to quit smoking simply wasn't going to happen. I'm taking it one step at a time but I've been smoking loads more whilst cutting other things out. I'm not feeling better myself yet but it's all about the determination.

It's a common thing to say it's not about the destination, it's about the journey but this is more about the destination, thinking of what your body could be like or how much more confident you could become. That's what keeps me going :)
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