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This is a discussion on This has to STOP!! within the Anxiety forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; Dieting/exercising for self-mastery and a sense of control over something. You once said you were chubby so that would be ...

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Old 01-26-15, 08:10 AM   #31
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Dieting/exercising for self-mastery and a sense of control over something. You once said you were chubby so that would be something to focus on. Just don't let it get out of hand!
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Old 01-26-15, 08:14 AM   #32
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Plan B: incorporate this into a general push for a better life, like being determined to find a better job. Then you won't have time for those hos.

Then if someone asks you about relationships, just say "I'm working on my career and my health right now." If someone says something about drinking, you could say, "drinking is fattening and I'm trying to get a nice physique" or "drinking makes me lazy." That would be true!
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Old 01-26-15, 08:16 AM   #33
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I know other Latinos who don't drink, so I find your area very, very strange.
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Old 01-26-15, 09:07 AM   #34
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Its not my place that's the strange one, its me. Well if we talk about it in terms of socially acceptable and unacceptable behaviour anyways.

By the regularly accepted social behaviors, drinking tends to be a type of right of passage of sorts from teenagers into adulthood or so the ideal is told. Same for sex, relationships, establishing a family, growing old and finally dying. That's sort of like the regular ideology that people go through. However with me, I just broke the mold with it all since I don't drink, seek sex or relationships,I'm not looking to form a family unit and well I can't cheat death but I will not wait for it like others do as the sort of end line from which you must establish the previous"goals" before it comes.

And alot of people really buy into this and many even become depressed over not achieving it. I'm not saying that their wrong, because often the reaction to being againts it is that people tend to see you as if you were demonizing the whole concept and it becomes a tug of war of ideals.

I'm saying that those are not the ideals for me, I don't believe in them regardless if 7 billion other people on this planet do and if we were to really research it, there are many who share my sentiments on the matter and similarly are subjected to scoff, ridicule, shame which is why many keep quiet or fall in line. Like I have said before, society wants conformity and any who don't do it are seen as a threat that must be eliminated.

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Old 01-26-15, 10:19 AM   #35
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But then why aren't people all in my business about if I have a boyfriend, if I want to go to this or that party every single weekend, why I don't have any kids at age 31, etc. I work in an office. No one brings that up. A few times I got a ride home from a "friend" and my boss laughed and said "tmi, tmi" (tmi = too much info).
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Old 01-26-15, 10:21 AM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SensualGirl View Post
Dieting/exercising for self-mastery and a sense of control over something. You once said you were chubby so that would be something to focus on. Just don't let it get out of hand!
I'm hesitant to throw that idea out there because you're a perfectionist and might take it too far, becoming completely absorbed in the world of weight control and potentially developing an eating disorder. You did at one point eat one meal a day and at another point told your mom off because she was planning to go the whole day without eating, so there's some hope...
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Old 01-26-15, 11:32 AM   #37
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But then why aren't people all in my business about if I have a boyfriend, if I want to go to this or that party every single weekend, why I don't have any kids at age 31, etc. I work in an office. No one brings that up. A few times I got a ride home from a "friend" and my boss laughed and said "tmi, tmi" (tmi = too much info).

Maybe its because its an office job or maybe people just assume that you already have these things under the belt. If during conversations you participate or are more approachable, people may not seek information. Or maybe its that gender roles are at work, after all for men relationships and parties are often subjects of "acomplishments" or "conquests", at least that's what I hear the men talking whenever there's a party. Its usually how drunk they will get and how many women they will "hunt down". And if there are more men around,the overall atmosphere and idea is intensified.
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Old 01-26-15, 11:34 AM   #38
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I'm hesitant to throw that idea out there because you're a perfectionist and might take it too far, becoming completely absorbed in the world of weight control and potentially developing an eating disorder. You did at one point eat one meal a day and at another point told your mom off because she was planning to go the whole day without eating, so there's some hope...
You're right about that. I can lose myself rather easily at times, especially if I become too absorbed in something.
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Old 01-26-15, 12:57 PM   #39
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Maybe its because its an office job or maybe people just assume that you already have these things under the belt. If during conversations you participate or are more approachable, people may not seek information. Or maybe its that gender roles are at work, after all for men relationships and parties are often subjects of "acomplishments" or "conquests", at least that's what I hear the men talking whenever there's a party. Its usually how drunk they will get and how many women they will "hunt down". And if there are more men around,the overall atmosphere and idea is intensified.
Not everyone is that way. Like i said in one of previous replies, you have many people that like you, like discussing heavier topics, i think meeting someone that is into those kind of talks would do you good. There is many people who generally dont like partying and that type of behavior.

That wont help much with calming yourself and reducing panic attacks, but it would do you good for soul, i think.

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And how will i stop the unnerving feeling i get because i have to be near them?
Dont upset yourself with it. people with different points of views will always exist, they might sometimes be pushy, but their opinion doesnt matter. Its always your opinion that matters first to you, then from people you care about, then others.
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Old 01-26-15, 01:31 PM   #40
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I think I would have to only consider my opinions, as even the closest people seem to share the general ideas without even giving mine a fair chance.

I can understand that there may be people who enjoy discussing more in depth topics but how come Im not finding them? I mean other than the internet, most people seem to walk in line with the general ideas.
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