Your paranoia and anxiety are both your mind in overdrive... Paranoia is anxiety over intrusive suppressed thoughts or ideas 'they're after me'... And anxiety over nothing? Well, that's just because you know your mind is capable of freaking out over nothing.
With regards to your aunts funeral, and getting enough sleep: even if you lay there all night and don't sleep at all, it is the best method. Because if you are thinking about what time it is, thinking about how you need sleep, thinking about how how tired you're going to be... This is what makes you more tired.
So on these times, remember, it is better off just laying there all night without any sleep than laying there thinking repetitively...
Now, the tricky part is learning how to not get lost in your thoughts whilst you are laying there. It is simple: just be the observer. Don't be the driver, just submit, submit to existence.
The thoughts slow down, and this happens through many occasions of finding yourself lost in thought whilst you're supposed to be just observing all the thoughts... You will continuously lose yourself in thoughts, but remember—let it go for now, this is observing time, submit to existence and help the busy over dominating mind fizzle out.
When you find yourself lost in thoughts during your meditation (Observing the thoughts) be gratious, because at that time you become conscious again, conscious of the self that is... This will happen more and more—until no longer do you forget and get lost in useless thoughts, and this is meditation. Meditation is finished when it is constant. But it is always the best medication for all anxiety related issues of the original slave mind.
With the feelings you will feel in these times: go into them, submit to them, you need to let them go, let it out. If you want to cry, then cry. But trust that you are ok, it is just your mind that is overriding your heart.
If you follow this path, I promise you will dissolve all your questions, problems, all the bs... It isn't knowledge you need to beat this, it is awakening to your inner energy. And to make inner progress, you need to go within yourself, find out everything about this thought world of yours, watch it constantly, don't even debate it.
In meeting with people let your feelings be honest, it takes a lot of bravery to admit you are not feeling the best—but it is the best remedy.
Last edited by Forest; 07-23-15 at 05:56 AM.