This can be such a difficult area to argue over.
Sometimes I don't care about life, couldn't give a fuck if something happened to me - so long as it was quick, and there was no more suffering, I'd almost be thankful for it - and other times realize I still got something to live for and the impact it would have on other people if I attempted self-harm. Some days you just don't know which side you'd be better off with
Life is so fragile - that has always been aware, but became ever so more relevant recently. I used to have anxiety about people I cared about dying, and now it's happened again, and attended the funerals, there's a kind of calm that goes with, but with it, still remain anxious and angry, confused, empty etc. All those feelings
I never know how to answer things like this, but thinking right now, I don't feel anxiety about my own death. Just got to keep alive and love the ones you got left, while we now realize there comes a time for everyone.
I find now, more worry can only makes things so worse, while there was a certain freedom before, and now just feel more restricted, so as hard as it can be, try not to let anxiety beat me into the ground and strangle what life I got left