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This is a discussion on Alone within the Anxiety forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I don't know how to get started... Well I'm a 20 year old girl from Singapore, Ever since I was ...

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Old 02-22-09, 10:17 AM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2009
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I don't know how to get started...

Well I'm a 20 year old girl from Singapore, Ever since I was quite young I'm a person who don't really likes to tell my own secrets/problem to my friend or family because I felt that it is not safe to tell them.... Until last year I felt that something wrong with me, I was in my first year in my college and also taking a new course which I not familiar at, starting of the year is ok but until the middle part I can't cope it, At that time i was working as a part-time at a fast food restaurant during weekends and weekdays I always attend school without failed, but problem occurs, my result wasn't good enough, I was v.sad by than but main problem isn't this, my friend started to teased me or something, because of my result not good as her or something, and my best friend who is my partner she also trying to help me but in the end I felt that sometimes I was left alone, I don't like my another friend as she want to win us in everything But most of the time I didn't take it on my heart because I found out that is v.childish...

But days pass by, until mid last year I decided to go on my own, I choose a different course which abit linked to what i'm study, another reason why I left my best friend and be alone because I don't want to keep stay with her as I want to be independent, to prove myself I also can do it alone... First few days of school start, I didn't know anyone in class, but after a few days later I getting to know some of my good friends in my current class, they are nice people who I feel secure to be with... sometime i still go look for my best friend to join her for lunch and went back home with her, but problem occurs after half year later, I was fired from my part-time job, and was unemployed for few months, and my best friend asked me join her work place, which is also a fast food restaurant, I did go for the interview and I was in... first few days was quite ok for me, but few months later I don't feel happy to work there, because colleague there wasn't as nice as compare to my previous colleauge, they like to backstab people especially new comer... But somehow they did more at me, I also find alot of different people at there too, like people who need u will treat u well, when they don't needs u they will treat u v.coldy, this is my first time getting so much problem in a year, I FEEL LIKE QUITING THE JOB but problem is my family income wasn't that good because only my mum was the one who support this family and my useless father only spend the money he earns on his own, If I don't work I can't get enough pocket money, My brother is in his univesity now, Haix, so much problem, I also can't had a proper room for myself to study, is like I spend more at outside compare to at home, because once I get home, my father will nagged non-stop... haix, he don't know everything about me, He even has his own room as that room used to be me and my bro room so we had no choice to sleep at the master bedroom with total of 3 people, but we always wish to had a study room or even a table with a quiet room but because of him, we had to go outside study in the library or at my void deck study corner... sometime I wish that If my father was a guy who work hard for the family like my uncle I will be v.thankful...But i knw this is going to be a dream which won't come true... because he is v.lazy

Other than family problem, I also had problem at work, I started to don't feel to go work after 4 months working at there, sometimes I got problem I don't tell my best friend, as I don't wan to talk about it, sometime I felt that my previous boss was right, Best friend can't work together.... and i believed it... really can't work together... haix, because of this and my exams are coming soon, I don had to mood to study and work... I feel like crying most of the time... but if without my current friends, think I will be v.emo ... And last friday i message my manager that I got something on I can't go work and today my friend told me the manager didn't approve my leave Is like this is my second time i take off because I need to take a break to peace my mind but after hearing this it won't help at all, now is my best friend who started to say "If u don't go work u will get a warning letter and it will runs yr future" this kind of meaning, yeah I did know but You know why I'm so angry because the manager there treat me and her is differently v.different... haix I wish If i can get a new job I won't be appear at there anymore... but at the same time I want to study well, concentrate on my study... and get into polytechnics, I miss my old managers, they are nice people who I can talk with but my new manager haix they are bad people or even evil...

can someone help me! I don't want to betray or hurt my best friend I just want to solved this matter as everytime I think back my heart will get "sour"... I wish I can cope my study and work well, I wish i can go polytechnic... I wish I still got some income for my pocket money...
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Old 02-22-09, 11:49 AM   #2
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Hi Rachelle.
I'm sorry you have so much to struggle with at the moment.
Is there any chance you can find another job? Maybe something else than fast food? A store, cleaning job, restaurant, office? Maybe it will be easier to combine with your studies? I'm sorry it is so little privacy at home. That must be frustrating. Is there any chance you can get a place of your own on share with your friends? It might be easier than sharing with family?

Best wishes,
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step." - Lao Tsu -
"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing." - Hillel -
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Old 02-22-09, 12:15 PM   #3
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Singapore? Neat. My dad was just there last week.

(((((hugs))))) Mitza basically said everything I was thinking while I read that, so I decided to throw in a big hug. Everyone could use one, right? *nods* I'm here if you ever need to talk more.
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