I remember making a thread similar to this. Its been a longtime since I've come onto this forum. Felt slightly better in life.
But anyway, I still seem to always put myself in the position of almost getting run over on the roads. Its worrying me, whilst fears are pushing me towards traumatic thoughts. Fears also bog me down by not ever wanting to cross a road again. I seem to walk right ahead, without sometimes realizing a car is even coming; I look at a road and I just get this instinctive reaction of it being used; to walk right in it & cross over.... and maybe reach the other side. To experience death.
sure but then i am also not
sure as to why i am feeling like this, it seems like i am still going through that mental absence. Where I feel like there's more than one thing going on in my head. If by absorbing it too much, then the same trauma plays over & over again.
I feel very crappy, I can cross roads if i'm with somebody. Obviously if i did try to walk ahead mindlessly; then they'll tell me to hold back. But... I just... *shrugs*