Absence & Clumsiness.
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Absence & Clumsiness.

This is a discussion on Absence & Clumsiness. within the Anxiety forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I happen to be rather absent minded, since my clinical depression had me struggling for accepting who I am. By ...

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Old 06-08-12, 07:58 PM   #1
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I happen to be rather absent minded, since my clinical depression had me struggling for accepting who I am. By taking over my personality and dumping down its own shit. However I always seem to have the urge to trip over or slip whenever I am walking out infront of public environments.

I dislike to be around the eyes of so many, thus uncomfortable of crowdy places. So along with that I am mentally exhausted, non-functional within behavior, have difficulty in eye-contact and day-dream alot. I seem to freeze somewhere inside and end up walking straight through the traffic lights when the cars have not stopped. I tend to have the urge to runaway or 'flee' whenever I am out with a person, because I have the instinctual reaction to be left alone.

My sister told me all this in our outing, that I seem to be rather too absent from the environment and at times, I walk right ahead and she is left behind, calling for me. And she feels as though I could get an accident so easily, and if I am trying to kill myself (Which IM NOT). But dear me... why would I intend to kill myself? I mean, yes I have felt suicidal numerous times. But I still do not support it in affliction to myself.

E.g. Today I was in the coffee shop and I was discussing with my sister about some trauma. I had departed from my seat to go to the restroom, apparently my tummy was aching, foot got sprained and I was in a trance. I almost fell down yelled "Woops" and held onto some dudes chair. He turned around and asked "Are you ok?" and dear god was I embarrassed. I responded "Sorry, its ok" ... and rushed to the restroom and was in there for quite some time. To get my courage together lol, because DAYUM WAS THAT FRIGGIN embarrassing .... *Hides face*
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Old 06-26-12, 02:22 PM   #2
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it seems that you have a fear of being out in front of people. basically your fight or flight response is being used to flee and get out of the sight of others. a small way to fix that is to have a small ipod or mp3 player on with a small amount of songs you like just keep one earbud in and have some people around you. if that helps you please tell me
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Old 06-26-12, 02:34 PM   #3
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Thanks for the reply.

I have already used that method. But in some cases it makes the situation more dangerous.
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Old 06-26-12, 02:37 PM   #4
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no problem, have you tried the smaller crowds and then building up from there. like maybe a store in a mall, then maybe the food court, then slowly gettinga higher concentration of people to be around
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Old 06-26-12, 02:46 PM   #5
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I have tried copious of methods to remain normal around people who are just like me. But it seems like there is a heavy impact somewhere inside the cognition to even be functioning normally around people?

In my past I did have big impacts in my life.... negative at that.
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Old 07-03-12, 11:08 PM   #6
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I think it's a genuine trait to have, being shy or socially awkward. Really sweet in a sense, but I don't intend anything personal in saying so. I know how frustrating it can be, and I used to feel this way more often than not. It still happens here, mostly when people eventually get to me with praise or affection. That can throw me off on what to expect of myself, or if I should take such influences to heart.

My [possibly odd] view on it is - many folks, myself included, get into the habit of taking situations and people's influence for advantage, or mentally undermining others' status or influence, to avoid feeling nervous and fucking up. This can become an innate habit, i.e. requiring no effort or deliberation, such as when I've often related to pissed off (and sometimes irrational) doctors while thinking and responding rationally.

Taking things for advantage is pretty much the opposite of being genuine, IMO, so I accept that viewpoint even as it relates to these methods of remaining cold and calculating. A lot of folks would no doubt consider this as part of growing up - growing out of shyness and becoming familiar with life's challenges and nuances. Perhaps either I skip steps or just blatantly disagree that coming to take things for advantage is part of growing up. Probably both. Emotional control is surely [literally] needed for growing up and being socially acceptable, so I obviously tend toward denial of social pressure and conformity (while practically playing many of the games and burying the denial).

People are said to get into habits of inattentional blindness, and it makes for some fun videos and tests online! I know that disregarding stimuli is largely required for human efficiency in high demand situations, so I'm somewhat torn on the general necessity and morality of such things, right in line with the above denial. Surely that's a reason why the "rat race" was never appealing, though it's taken its' toll anyhow with promoting selective memory and other undesirable traits of impatience, while limiting capacity and/or creativity for other areas of life. JME... I guess it's yin and yang in effect.
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