Among the many things that cause me to panic/worry about alot lately and really is making it difficault to relax is being surrounded by buildings.. cars.. just evidence of people..
I wake up and i spend every single hour within four grey walls.. and when i look out my window all i see are houses... just all the same colour tiles and bricks all perfectly organized... and i see roads all grey and dull... and all i hear are cars and next door slaming doors and screaming at each other... or my sister playing her music loud or people walking downstairs and cars driving passed... nothing pleasing to the eye or ears at all.
And the few trees i can see are slowely being chopped down year by year :(
i feel really suffocated and enclosed, sometimes its like im struggling to breath.
I'd love to be able to travel to a place where i can see trees and nothing but trees for miles and miles without a single person in sight, or a single building or any sign of people what so ever.
I want to see the sunlight go through the leaves in the trees causing different shades of light on the floor.
I want to hear birds and the branches of leaves on the trees brush against eachother in the wind and hear the leaves "crinkle" underneath my feet.
i haven't been able to do that for around 4-5 years now and it makes me feel so sad that i don't have a place like that to go...
its just buildings and people and cars and concrete for miles and miles
and its driving me insane....