8 year old son, please help
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8 year old son, please help

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Old 08-13-11, 08:22 AM   #1
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Default 8 year old son, please help

Ok, I need major help with my 8 year old son.
He has major anxiety issues. MAJOR.

His mother and I seperated in 09 due to his mothers infidelity issues created by Bi-Polar infidelity.

It is clear he has issues with my now, new partner, albeit when he is with her by himself he gets along with her very very well.

He sort of has a Jekyll and Hyde personality.
Rarely do I get to see him act like a normal 8 year old child should.

He cannot wait to hang with his mates when he gets here, although he spends a short time with his friends and then he comes home. His friends think the world of him as he is quite talented with a lot of things he partakes in. Therefore this friends think he's pretty cool.

His friends come to the front door and say "XXXX come out and play"
He will yell out, "No, I don't want to play, im bored with you guys"

20 minutes later you can see his mind ticking over and he wants to go hang with them. So off he goes but 30 minutes later he's home again saying "They're boring"

He treats most people in my life with disrespect. Does not say "Hello" when people say "hello" to him. Does not want to interact with close friends and family.
Very sad.
He is creating a wedge between my new partner and me.

He has a sister and does not like doing things with me and his sister, he just wants me to himself. And if his sister gets involved he immediately withdraws from the situation.

IN saying all of this, when he wakes in the morning he climbs into bed with me and wants that closeness but as soon as I don't give him the attention he craves, he takes off in a huff.

PLEASE HELP, can someone shed some light on the situation, please offer some advice.

It is tearing me apart from the inside.

He did see a psychologist about a year ago for a period of six months. At his mothers direction as she has partaken in parental alienation for quite some time and this obviously has had major effect on him.

Please help.
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Old 08-13-11, 01:49 PM   #2
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hi, it sounds like a tough situation.
i don't understand what u said here
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At his mothers direction as she has partaken in parental alienation for quite some time and this obviously has had major effect on him.
why did he stop seeing the psychologist? it might be good if u could see one together, so u can understand each other better.
i take it he lives with his mom & visits you? maybe u could call him during the week if u don't already. i'm sure it's very hard in the short amount of time u have together. i think the best u can do right now is be there for him, spend time with him, let him know u care, really listen when he opens up to you.
and i think the therapy would really help, they teach how to communicate, and i think that's very important. i hope things improve.
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Old 08-13-11, 10:43 PM   #3
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hi, it sounds like a tough situation.
i don't understand what u said here why did he stop seeing the psychologist? it might be good if u could see one together, so u can understand each other better.
i take it he lives with his mom & visits you? maybe u could call him during the week if u don't already. i'm sure it's very hard in the short amount of time u have together. i think the best u can do right now is be there for him, spend time with him, let him know u care, really listen when he opens up to you.
and i think the therapy would really help, they teach how to communicate, and i think that's very important. i hope things improve.
His mother is poisoning him with saying bad things about me.
She involves him in adult issues. etc
Check out Welcome | Parental Alienation is Child Abuse
if you need to know what this form of mental abuse is.

I think i need to get him back to a psychologist.
He did get better after a period of time with therapy but then his mother kept on her wayward way.
Parents who indulge in this type of behaviour do it to try and alienate the other parent but what they don't realise is they are only hurting the child.
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Old 08-14-11, 12:24 PM   #4
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His mother is poisoning him with saying bad things about me.
She involves him in adult issues. etc
ah, i know what that is, i just didn't know that's what u were getting at. yeah, that's very sad. i hope things get settled soon
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Old 08-24-11, 11:29 AM   #5
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I dont think theirs anything 'wrong' with your son, except the stress of his parents seperating under what sound like unpleasent curcumstances.

Have you taken the time to sit with him and explain whats happening and where he fits in? This must all be very worrying for an 8yr old to deal with.

He is obviously feeling concerned about his new 'family' and what it means to his relationship with you. You need to perservier, children need consistancy, and while you cannot control the actions of you ex partner, while he is with you, you can provide a stable secure environment in which he can feel safe.

Keep offering the affection he seeks, even though he seems to reject it, he may be strugeling with emotions, and unable to express them to you. Some councelling may help him to express how he feels.
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Old 09-13-11, 06:42 PM   #6
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I dont think theirs anything 'wrong' with your son, except the stress of his parents seperating under what sound like unpleasent curcumstances.

Have you taken the time to sit with him and explain whats happening and where he fits in? This must all be very worrying for an 8yr old to deal with.

He is obviously feeling concerned about his new 'family' and what it means to his relationship with you. You need to perservier, children need consistancy, and while you cannot control the actions of you ex partner, while he is with you, you can provide a stable secure environment in which he can feel safe.

Keep offering the affection he seeks, even though he seems to reject it, he may be strugeling with emotions, and unable to express them to you. Some councelling may help him to express how he feels.
Yes have sat with him to discuss how things are now.
I will always continue to offer him the affection he needs and so deserves, I guess its only time which heals all wounds.

His mother won't allow him to see a psychologist again, I think it's because I've requested that both HER and I see the same psychologist after our son does his counselling so the Psych can counsel us, or should i say MAINLY her on why things are getting out of control.
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