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A theory on depression

This is a discussion on A theory on depression within the Alternative Treatment forums, part of the Treatment category; I agree with this. I know that my parental issues are at the root of most of my problems. They ...

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Old 03-13-09, 12:47 PM   #31
 
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I agree with this. I know that my parental issues are at the root of most of my problems. They are fundamental in shaping the way you feel about yourself, which is fundamental in detemining how you will interact with life.

Obviously other things can cause depression. But just look at the television show Lost. Out of 25 main characters, something like 23 of them have daddy issues. Its a big deal.
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Old 03-13-09, 11:18 PM   #32
 
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in real life or on the show?
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Old 03-18-09, 02:46 AM   #33
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I somewhat agree with you oneday and that its the environment when you're raised in your critical learning years of your childhood and that does tend to revolve around parent/guardian. You could also put a lot of different experiences you had that were independent of your parent also though too(i.e. with early caretaker, teachers etc.). I believe having postpartum depression can also be traced back to childhood learning experiences, and leads to whether someone becomes depressed instead of just becoming very sad.

Yea anxiety is separate, although yes found often with depression. I used to have severe depression, got it better, only to find my anxiety skyrocket, pure lameness
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Old 03-18-09, 08:07 AM   #34
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If parents have a bad relationship, it is possible that their behaviour towards one another will impact on the children. Children have a knack of taking responsibility for the negativity in the house. 'It's my fault Mum and Dad split up' etc. I imagine this construct of truth coupled with possible exposure to negative examples of respect towards each other will influence a child's self-esteem development. I say this because so few marital issues and separations are conducted with the child's interests at heart.
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Old 03-18-09, 10:39 PM   #35
 
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I am now believing that their is always a disturbance in a depressed person in their upbringing, always a dysfunction with their parents. Whether they were physically abused or mentally abused, or their parents worked long hours, their was a disturbance to the way they have been learning their life skills.
Because of this disturbance of learning skills that keep yourself happy (anything from eating to following a sport so you make more friends with people) hundreds of things, people constantly make mistakes which make them unhappy. Along with parents who may be too hard on their children is too much and people are going to feel there is no point in trying to make themselves happy because their always going to end up feeling down anyway.
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Old 03-18-09, 11:25 PM   #36
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I don't know oneday. life is fraught with mistakes. that is par for the course. we try to make the best decisions we can at the time with the living skills we have - our intentions are good. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. What is important is that we learn as we go along. It is unavoidable that people get hurt along the way. There is no morning when you wake up and say 'now I'm a totally happy forever.' Perhaps you may have the perspective that despite the pitfalls of life, there is always substantial to be gained from the experience. I don't have the answers and depression itself is an illness which requires treatment. I'm allowed to screw up though and although its hard, I know I learn too. Be careful about extreme statements. If people constantly make mistakes that means they never get it right which isn't true at all. In fact people get it right more times than we appreciate. It's just that we expect it and shrug if off as ho-hum.
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Old 03-19-09, 09:10 AM   #37
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oneday View Post
I am now believing that their is always a disturbance in a depressed person in their upbringing, always a dysfunction with their parents. Whether they were physically abused or mentally abused, or their parents worked long hours, their was a disturbance to the way they have been learning their life skills.
Because of this disturbance of learning skills that keep yourself happy (anything from eating to following a sport so you make more friends with people) hundreds of things, people constantly make mistakes which make them unhappy. Along with parents who may be too hard on their children is too much and people are going to feel there is no point in trying to make themselves happy because their always going to end up feeling down anyway.
Hi Oneday, I hope you don't mind but I always love a good debate and saw some problems with your logic maybe yo ucan correct me too :D

you mentioned research and I have to first point you towards it - the research you are looking at is depressed people...not all people with dysfunction in the parenting.

That being said, obeviously surveying people who are depressed and feel life has failed them, you would find a vast amount who can pin some level of the blame on their parents. I'm not saying they are wrong, but do you realize how negative depression mkes people? I mean if you ask my opinion on a good day, or a bad day, my family is the DEVIL on bad days. Whereas the SAME issues are so insignifcant on good days I don't remember them.

Can anoyne in the forum actually confirm this cause it may just be me...but on a good day is it not much easier to face the peeves you have, whoever they are lol? But on a bad day you lock your door, windows closed and would not mind if the world exploded in a nuclear bomb and you don't ever have ot see anyone again?

Do you not hate the world for being such a cruel place that people can live like this and no one notices?? Do you not find slowly thinking about it at home, on a depressing day, that every mistake everyone your life has ever made towards you becomes so clear? And you can't explain why they are that way?? And why you desrve that?? And why they do not care??

I think all these negative thoughts are clearly depression related AS WELL ( i'm not saying entirely) but the depression does cast a negative light on our ENTIRE lives. and it says in the descriptions clearly that agitation and such are normal.

Now that being said, if you look at all the people in the world, healthy and depressed, and ask about the parenting problems. Those with parenting problems would be MANY more than those who are depressed and with parenting problems. I also think there are other causes you are neglecting.

@ Pancho - by the way anxiety can cause depression if it is untreated, that was my first diagnosis the doc thought of and explained to me.

But using myself as an example i am depressed because i have a personality disorder. I'll be depressed my entire life, and I knew it as a kid just instinctively that this would happen. I only actually felt it at 16, but i was suicidal and such before then. I will be my life over, I will be empty and I will be depressive and suicidal.

I DO have issues with my faily, and parents, but I can tell you in 100% assurance, this would have happened with or without them.

I can also tell you in 100% accuracy, that the negative aspects of my father, it turned out were the parts that gave me the disorder skills (not life skills) to survive what I DO have. My therapist was actually amused and wondering and asked how i knew to handle some things and i found out my Dad's bad lessons were good.

Our perception of what our parents do to us and what it actually does do can also be wrong. I think that is something a lot of kids fail to realize, we all think we're so right, it never occurs to us to look at the flipside

- what would we be if our parents had NOT taught us the lessons they DID?
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Old 03-19-09, 10:58 AM   #38
 
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Hello sybil08! Are you saying the depression somebody has that is making them feel bad may cast a negative view on how they percieve things and maybe their parents and that is how so many people with depression put much of the blame on their parents?

I see where you are coming from that is interesting!

I have an opinion but I have to go, i'll write another post soon.
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Old 03-19-09, 11:10 AM   #39
 
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Hi Oneday!

That is part of what I was saying yes.

But also that we can't account for the statistics of all the people with family problems, and parental issues, who are no diagnosed depressed and have led successful lives regardless of the upbringing.

I do look forward ot the post, and totally understand, it took me ages writing just one on here since there was so much i wanted to say too lol.

hope alls well otherwise and thanks for starting a really interesting debate..i really like these!!!:D
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Old 03-19-09, 05:32 PM   #40
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We had a discussion in another thread that self-esteem and depression are not necessarily correlated. A person with good self-esteem is not precluded from depression. I definitely agree about perspective sybil. When depression hits - everything takes on a grey colour, all the vibrancy goes and we tend to evaluate relationships under these terms and conditions. It is fair to say that judgements are made and truths are created in depressive states. That being said, are they accurate? Since each of us have our own truth and it is a construct, what makes a non-depressed evaluation of a situation any more accurate? Food for thought I guess.
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