Originally Posted by Oneday
I am now believing that their is always a disturbance in a depressed person in their upbringing, always a dysfunction with their parents. Whether they were physically abused or mentally abused, or their parents worked long hours, their was a disturbance to the way they have been learning their life skills.
Because of this disturbance of learning skills that keep yourself happy (anything from eating to following a sport so you make more friends with people) hundreds of things, people constantly make mistakes which make them unhappy. Along with parents who may be too hard on their children is too much and people are going to feel there is no point in trying to make themselves happy because their always going to end up feeling down anyway.
Hi Oneday, I hope you don't mind but I always love a good debate and saw some problems with your logic maybe yo ucan correct me too :D
you mentioned research and I have to first point you towards it - the research you are looking at is depressed people...not all people with dysfunction in the parenting.
That being said, obeviously surveying people who are depressed and feel life has failed them, you would find a vast amount who can pin some level of the blame on their parents. I'm not saying they are wrong, but do you realize how negative depression mkes people? I mean if you ask my opinion on a good day, or a bad day, my family is the DEVIL on bad days. Whereas the SAME issues are so insignifcant on good days I don't remember them.
Can anoyne in the forum actually confirm this cause it may just be me...but on a good day is it not much easier to face the peeves you have, whoever they are lol? But on a bad day you lock your door, windows closed and would not mind if the world exploded in a nuclear bomb and you don't ever have ot see anyone again?
Do you not hate the world for being such a cruel place that people can live like this and no one notices?? Do you not find slowly thinking about it at home, on a depressing day, that every mistake everyone your life has ever made towards you becomes so clear? And you can't explain why they are that way?? And why you desrve that?? And why they do not care??
I think all these negative thoughts are clearly depression related AS WELL ( i'm not saying entirely) but the depression does cast a negative light on our ENTIRE lives. and it says in the descriptions clearly that agitation and such are normal.
Now that being said, if you look at all the people in the world, healthy and depressed, and ask about the parenting problems. Those with parenting problems would be MANY more than those who are depressed and with parenting problems. I also think there are other causes you are neglecting.
@ Pancho - by the way anxiety can cause depression if it is untreated, that was my first diagnosis the doc thought of and explained to me.
But using myself as an example i am depressed because i have a personality disorder. I'll be depressed my entire life, and I knew it as a kid just instinctively that this would happen. I only actually felt it at 16, but i was suicidal and such before then. I will be my life over, I will be empty and I will be depressive and suicidal.
I DO have issues with my faily, and parents, but I can tell you in 100% assurance, this would have happened with or without them.
I can also tell you in 100% accuracy, that the negative aspects of my father, it turned out were the parts that gave me the disorder skills (not life skills) to survive what I DO have. My therapist was actually amused and wondering and asked how i knew to handle some things and i found out my Dad's bad lessons were good.
Our perception of what our parents do to us and what it actually does do can also be wrong. I think that is something a lot of kids fail to realize, we all think we're so right, it never occurs to us to look at the flipside
- what would we be if our parents had NOT taught us the lessons they DID?