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A theory on depression

This is a discussion on A theory on depression within the Alternative Treatment forums, part of the Treatment category; Yes oneday, these parents weren't tightasses. Though they were unyeilding on wanting to keep tabs on their daughter, they would ...

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Old 01-14-09, 04:16 PM   #11
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Yes oneday, these parents weren't tightasses. Though they were unyeilding on wanting to keep tabs on their daughter, they would allow her to do lots of things, as long as she was honest with them. Even if she got less than perfect grades, they wouldn't stop her from doing the things that she truly loved (for instance, they never took away her theater involvement, which was my friend's passion), though they did have a taking away of priviledges system that included cell phone and internet.

During a two year span, my parents decided they were going to make up for 13 years of bad parenting in one swoop, and even if I looked out of line, they punished me. They told me how I was stupid and I fucked up, pressured and pressured and pressured me to do better. If I didn't get the grades, they wouldn't allow me to do anything, even go to one night at the movies with close and trusted friends (like I mentioned earlier, this friend's parents would not only allow her to do so, but they would give her money for a ticket and popcorn). They would make me go to school, come straight back after and do homework and read the rest of the night (and I am not a reader, so this was torture, no TV, internet, videogames, music, radio, phone)

Most importantly, all that this friend's parents wanted for my friend was for her to be happy. When she told them she was feeling suicidal when she was 15, they took her to the appropriate authorities to get help. Want to know what my parents did? Told me I was going to be labeled a freak for the rest of my life because now that I had been to a mental institution, society would not approve of me. They also would not drive me to therapy appointments or pay for medication while I was trying it. This friend's family gave me shelter when I felt I could not go home, and my friend's mother drove me to a couple appointments when it was raining and it would have sucked to walk. If that isn't great parenting oneday, I do not know what is.

And yet my friend is still depressed. She is taking zoloft and rispiridal, and just doesn't seem to be doing any better. She was accepted into a college in another state, but only after a year she dropped out and had to move back here. Now she is working menial jobs and unable to hold to said jobs for more than a few months. I feel bad for her. But I know it wasn't her parents.
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Old 01-15-09, 02:51 PM   #12
 
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well all I know if that from the poll I made on a forum (different from the TTL forums) out of 73 people 87% had a dysfunctional relationship with their parents

Last edited by Ella; 08-24-10 at 08:36 AM.
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Old 01-15-09, 04:47 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by third3ye View Post
[ WARNING! POST CONTAINS EXPLICIT MATERIAL! IF YOU CONTINUE READING YOU AGREE THAT YOU ARE 18+ (AND IF YOU'RE NOT 18+ AND ARE VERY SUSCEPTIBLE TO VIOLENT AND/OR SEXUAL CONTENTS, THEN FOR YOUR OWN GOOD: STOP READING THIS! THIS QUALIFIES AS DANGEROUS "VENTING" ]



Well I can explain one thing. I've always been a male feminist in some ways. Even to the point where I don't try to "court" girls at all, or even try to talk to them, because suddenly I think of my self as a sexual deviant with only one thing on my mind.

The main reason for this must be Johnny. Johnny used to be like a father to me, when my biological father was to unconscious to take his hand off the beer-glass. He was a truckin man, who drove freight from Bergen to Oslo. I rode with him a couple of times, across the rocky and icy mountains of Norway. He tried to teach me to stand up for my self (tho it failed at an early age). I actually wanted to be a trucked one day because of him.
But one night I hear this strange noise and as I go to investigate I find that Johnny's lifting the bedsheets so he can get a better look. I also find out at age 19 or something that I suppressed the fact that his own son had raped my sister, not once, but on two separate occasions . I friggin forgot this! I can't even believe it to this very day.

So everytime I end up saying something wrong to a girl, or get that weird "wtf" look, it sticks to my conscience like a concoction of beans, rice, and a big old humid ball of chewing gum, all welded together with superglue, ready to flash back some unsuspecting night when I try to "relax".
I can't kiss for nothing, I've had no relationships, and my connection with women is not distant, but non-existent.

Thank god for anonymity. If I wasn't anonymous here I wouldn't have wrote this. But I tell it to all my friends (the bit about Johnny and my sister that is, not the "relaxation" part or the girl problem part (they already know the latter).

PS: Yes, I know what you're thinking, and if I ever do go bonkers then first on my list is Johnny Jr. After being gangraped by a collection of rabid and sleep-depraved zoo orangutans, hopped up on viagra and meth-amphetamine, he will enjoy being strapped to the wall of a polar bears cave, with a sirloin strapped to his private parts, and bacon around his face (for that little hope of instant death).

Anger issues? Me? Noooo...
Let me tell you honestly, as a girl I know. Girls, especially the ones these days, are very catty, snobby and selfish. I don't advise you feeling bad over them, they are too immature and selfish to be hassled with. Instead think about the girl you will find, yes will, an intelligent understanding women who is at your level, deep and unselfish. They are out there. Just like there are good men out there, they are just rare. I've noticed that humans have this need ot be accepted by the opposite sex. However I highly reccommend seeing yourself as the genuine priceless amazing being you are instead of accepting what some immature shalllow selfish screw-up member of the opposite sex thinks. Consider the source of the advice, if they are bratty, screw them they treat more thna just you like that, they are the ones with the problem not you. You deserve respect,and if they don't give you that, don't give them the time of day.
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Old 01-15-09, 07:31 PM   #14
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oneday,

Having dysfunctional parents is probably a big part of it, my point is that it is not the sole source of depression. Most medical texts, including the DSM4 will back me up on that one.
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Old 01-16-09, 11:19 AM   #15
 
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I'm very sorry things were like this for you third3ye. How is it relevant to if your parents are in a bad relationship how would it give the kids low self esteem?
Well Johnny (besides my mother) was the only person who actually motivated me to do what I wanted to do, like make music for instance, and I saw him of somewhat a role-model at some point, and therefor a parent/guardian (he was a big part of my younger life). I was the only kid on my school capable of composing an entire song on their MIDI system (for a while that is :P music production became populare in the 90s) and I attribute that to him. But it's also led me to trust people less. I don't trust my self, I don't trust my mom, I don't trust my psychologist, I don't trust anyone.

NOTE: The details of my life and traumas have been going around in circulation in various psychological institutes in my hometown. Me telling you these things are not a sign of trust (The anonymity is a good sign of that) but merely venting in some way, like a Nuclear plant that requires constant venting.
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Old 01-16-09, 02:17 PM   #16
 
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what is the DSM 4 pancho?
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Old 01-16-09, 02:40 PM   #17
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The DSM4 is the diagnostic manual that lists the criteria necessary for the psychiatric community to diagnose someone with a mental disorder or mood disorder. Most psychiatrists here in the states follow it, and so to psychiatrists in Europe and Austrailia.
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Old 01-16-09, 06:41 PM   #18
 
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could the DSM 4 be wrong?

there is already massive things wrong in the depression community, doctors get paid for the more drugs they hand out
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Old 01-16-09, 08:08 PM   #19
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DSM 4 has nothing to do with medications. It is simply diagnostic criteria. It is the most widely accepted and used psychiatric text in the world. It is based on hundreds of clinical trials and research. It has been revised and updated four times over the past 60 or so years, and it's due for another revision in 2012. Even in comparison to the other widely-used psychiatric text, the ICD, the two texts use the same diagnostic criteria, and are very much similar. Although the DSM IV is definitely not the ultimate word on psychiatric disorders, it is hard to imagine that a text 60 years in development could simply be "wrong."
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Old 01-17-09, 03:24 AM   #20
 
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Because of what a document that has had 60 years of research says this must be right even though history is littered with examples of research and theories that have stood for a long time but have been proven wrong in the end.

I think when that document was was first started people have got the wrong end of the stick and nobody has been brave enough to ever argue.

There is lots of evidence which prove depression wrong and there is no smoke without fire.
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