hello this is my 1st post on this forum and in this thread i hope to talk a bit about how a small technique can teach you a lot about yourself,as it did to me
I Was depressed
i had thoughts of suicide
i hated my self my face everything regarding to myself
i always focused on the negative things i've done
and i still do,im not completely recovered i still have those things but the important fact is that i am now understanding about the hatred i have towards myself.
heres what you should do:
i wouldn't recommend a real paper notepad but windows notepad or something similar would be ideal (i use notepad ++ ) its up to you though..someone might use Microsoft word..
2)start a conversation with yourself
(bit silly isn't it but read on!)
treat yourself like a friend.Start by 'hi'.Remember you're talking to a friend!
just talk the way you would talk with a friend (he might be imaginary or real
but make sure you think of him as person you can talk something serious)
Answer in the same serious manner
Ok this is the most important part.You have to ask questions,start from light questions such as : "how was your day?" and continue;Without questioning you cannot discover yourself.
E.g: how was your day?
sigh nothing special than other days
oh why? you sound something made you very upset..
yeah,im a failure..I Suck at everything i do..i fucking hate myself
so how do you have to any plan to avoid being a failure and start love
hmm not yet
so above is a rough sketch how a conversation goes..Dont loose the flow, In this conversation you should think of yourself as two persons 1-the person who questions and 2-the person who answers.
Ask Serious questions,Ask about everything , Its your idea that matters.Most of us are trapped inside other peoples realities,so the best thing is to start from asking about what we think about things or in other words our definition of things
e.g: "what does happiness mean to you?"
(after a lot of thinking) "its the feeling i get from knowing that
everything is in the shape i need them to be"
"that means you have to change something to be happy?"
"so you gain happiness from outside of yourself?"
"can you think of some ways you can gain happiness without changing
anything outside yourself?"
"ughm.. wait a minute till i think"
"sure take your time"
:Don't always ask yes no questions. instead ask questions that needs a bit of thinking before replying.
Ask questions that needs imagination to reply
e.g: "imagine you had all the wealth in the world , will you be happy?"
Think deeply before answering questions,Always think what a question means to you rather than thinking about someone else and how would they answer..Also dont be hurry to answer ; Give yourself all the time in the world to answer a question;The time you spend thinking about the questions is invaluable.Trust me :)
4) Write down valuable things you found out about yourself
, and you have a great topic to start from next day.
5)continue daily (30 minutes every day)
having a conversation with yourself one day and hoping to get insight to drive away years of pain is not very realistic so continuing is very important
Me : i visited this site randomly and liked it and its almost 3 am so i hope this will help you since it helped me (this wasn't from any self-help book)
take care my friends :)