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This is a discussion on Goals within the Alternative Treatment forums, part of the Treatment category; Originally Posted by 20depressed I glanced over the bold titles and it looks helpful and a good thing to read ...

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Old 07-17-12, 07:32 PM   #51
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I glanced over the bold titles and it looks helpful and a good thing to read next. I'll save it for tomorrow though. I know it sounds stupid that I can't spend another 10 minutes and read it now, but I guess I'm sort of panicking with some things, and need to calm down.
Sorry I meant it to be for tomorrow. I should've waited to post it in the morning. Glad you think it will be helpful.

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Originally Posted by 20depressed View Post
I'm annoyed because I tried to do good things today. I went to work at 7am. I came back, felt so exhausted and tired, and I still worked out, even though it wasn't a full work out. I didn't eat much. I started to feel bad, so I tried to ignore everything and I started to draw something on some big drawing paper with pastels. I wanted to do this over a month ago, but didn't feel motivated to do it. But I still feel bad. I can't ignore it 24/7. I'm frustrated with myself.

It's like...I did stuff today. I know I won't feel awesome, but I shouldn't feel this bad. I guess I'm scared that I'll feel bad no matter what happens...
This is what you accomplished today (at the very least):

- Woke up early
- Worked all day
- Worked out, despite being tired
- Ate something
- Intended to work on a drawing
- Read an article
- Tried to ignore when I started to feel bad (acted pro-actively towards negative thoughts)

TA-DA!!!

The drawing thing - if you haven't been motivated for a month and today you started to draw something... that is great. It's a step in the right direction!

I know you still feel bad. You have a lot going on, and you still do need therapy that you're lacking for the moment. But I think you day at least had several strong points
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Old 07-17-12, 07:36 PM   #52
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I know...that's what's annoying. :(

I can see those points, but my mind thinks this:

-I didn't eat as much as I should
-I wanted to throw up
-I took 3 sleep pills just now
-I didn't complete my work out
-and despite doing good things, I still put more emphasis on these and feel bad
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Old 07-17-12, 07:52 PM   #53
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I know the better choice is to write them down before. But it's also the riskier choice. I don't like going into something without having a 'worst case scenario' plan. Maybe that's a bad way of thinking?

I'm just scared because I'm not used to feeling good and not so depressed. I have worked to not be and it's never paid off, so it's like, why is this any different? I'm used to failing and I feel like no matter what, my brain will at least subconsciously assume I'll fail.
I'm proud of you for deciding how to use your journal . What's a 'worst case scenario plan'? (I know what a worst case scenario is, but not sure what you mean by 'plan')

Why is this any different? Well, I don't think I can promise it will be. But look at it this way: If at first you don't succeed, try try again - right? Thomas Edison tried to make a lightbulb something like 1,000 times before he got it. He is quoted as saying, "I didn't fail. I discovered 1,000 ways that didn't work." I don't want you to be discouraged thinking it will take you that long - but it's just the idea I want you to see. Trying is always admirable. Wanting to change, and trying. One step at a time.
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Old 07-17-12, 07:58 PM   #54
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I know...that's what's annoying. :(

I can see those points, but my mind thinks this:

-I didn't eat as much as I should
-I wanted to throw up
-I took 3 sleep pills just now
-I didn't complete my work out
-and despite doing good things, I still put more emphasis on these and feel bad
I know. What your mind is doing is seeing the positive things, and adding, "but...." to discount it. I know. But here is my "but".... you are working towards something. Day to day won't look perfect, and that is okay. I can find negatives in my day too. Deal with those thoughts as best you can, and keep going. It's the "keep going" part that's most important. Put emphasis on that.
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Old 07-17-12, 08:11 PM   #55
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Okay...

I am trying and it's just so hard to not notice or see the good things. Someone can have the best life, but if they can't see the good, they will not be happy...

It sucks...and I keep doing dumb things. I just want to be happy...
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Old 07-17-12, 08:18 PM   #56
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Someone can have the best life, but if they can't see the good, they will not be happy...
True. This is a very wise statement.

You want to be happy. That is the beginning of it.

Night 20 :)
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Old 07-17-12, 08:46 PM   #57
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Goodnight
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Old 07-18-12, 06:06 PM   #58
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I read that article now...it surprised me on how accurate it described my thinking. I know I have a filter that pulls out positive things so I can't see them. I know I use the explanatory style thing. And I use almost all of the things described. There were only one or two that I didn't do, or at least, I don't realize that I do.

I'm so exhausted. I feel kind of bad that I didn't work out at all. I have to get up early again tomorrow, so not sure how much longer I'll be up. Is it alright if I wait to finally write in the journal tomorrow?
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Old 07-18-12, 08:06 PM   #59
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Of course..... go to sleep :)

Glad the article was useful. I hope you can use the information to identify some of the ways you think, and realize that when it's happening. I'll find something else for tomorrow and then I'm going to sleep too...
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Old 07-18-12, 08:15 PM   #60
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This is your 5th article! You're doing great... how's the practicing going?

Observations On Becoming More Self-Confident | www.succeedsocially.com
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