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This is a discussion on Goals within the Alternative Treatment forums, part of the Treatment category; It wasn't rhetorical. I am hesitant, but I'm not sure why. I think I'm scared of putting it on paper...maybe ...

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Old 07-16-12, 07:03 PM   #31
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It wasn't rhetorical. I am hesitant, but I'm not sure why. I think I'm scared of putting it on paper...maybe write a bunch of goals and never check them off. In my head, there's no record, so I guess it's like a safety net because I'm just used to failing.

I'm scared to think about those goals. Because the self harm behavior is addicting along with some other things that I don't know if they really fall into the category, I like doing it at the time and try not to think about it's consequences because in a way, it helps me get some of my other goals done. Does that make any sense? I feel like I can't word it right.
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Old 07-16-12, 08:09 PM   #32
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I think your reason for being hesitant makes a lot of sense. You don't have to do it - this thread will be similar. Once you see that you're accomplishing things here, you might want to try the check list. Leave it for now.

I've been thinking about what I said... but maybe don't add any more goals right now. There are plenty, and there shouldn't be too many. Keep it manageable. I also wouldn't know how to help you with some of the other things, so I think it's best left to a therapist. I'm a teacher, and my ideas come from that. But all of this can't take the place of professional support. I'm not saying that you shouldn't still try to change some of that behavior - I would love to see you do that. In fact, I think taking care of those things is a priority. My goal for you in this area would be to speak to your doctor about these things, and your counselor.

What I want to do is try to give you some structure because it helps you stay focused and not feel as lost as you've felt since leaving the schedules and routines of school. I think schedules and routines help you. I would like to eventually see you set some for yourself, and I want to show you a little of how to do that too.

Goals are important. We all have them. But even more important are the short term goals, and that you are trying to meet them... one step at a time. Every day when you want to, and try to, that's huge! You will reach those bigger goals in your own unique way, and at your own pace. All the daily little victories will add up.
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Old 07-16-12, 08:16 PM   #33
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I'll try to write them tomorrow. And I'll read the next thing tomorrow. I'm not overwhelmed trying to read a little each day. It's the trap my mind sets that's overwhelming. And that my best ways to cope are bad for me long term. It's just hard trying to move forward with the weight of bad coping skills. The weight either keeps me from moving forward or puts me steps back. I just want to move forward and it's difficult to see which direction I'm going in. I like to believe that I'm trying enough to where my net is positive. But I don't know if that's true. Maybe the weight is too much and I'm actually moving backwards.

I just hate these mood swings. I felt a lot better accomplishing goals, but today, it's like I haven't done anything to move forward and I just coped bad and am creating more problems.

Idk if I can tell my doctor about the issues. He didn't see the marks on my legs so he doesn't really know anything except that I'm depressed.

Idk, I just feel lost right now.
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Old 07-16-12, 08:32 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 20depressed View Post
I felt a lot better accomplishing goals, but today, it's like I haven't done anything to move forward and I just coped bad and am creating more problems.
I know. Today is done, and tomorrow is a fresh start. Don't look back. It's done. Tomorrow you'll read the article and start practicing what it talks about.

Night
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Old 07-16-12, 08:43 PM   #35
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Goodnight. I am just so disappointed with myself.

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Old 07-17-12, 12:49 PM   #36
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I will read those articles today no matter what. I am so exhausted. I haven't worked out yet, and I don't feel like I have the energy for it. I just feel like I don't have motivation right now. I want to get better, but I still don't like myself at all. I feel like a bad person. It's very difficult to put in the work when you don't like yourself. My mind is just killing me. It's like, I feel so drained and like I don't deserve to be happy. Idk how to give myself energy. Idk if I'm even making any sense. My mind is a mess right now.
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Old 07-17-12, 05:14 PM   #37
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I read the last article. I enjoyed reading it and was surprised how similar some of the things were to how my mind works.

I did have a few questions that I would like to talk about if you or anyone else has any answers. The article talked about kind of ignoring the thoughts that simply aren't true. And the other technique was to challenge the thoughts, but also mentioned that challenging in excess can bring you down and keep your mind focused on bad things. When do I challenge the thoughts and when do I just ignore them? And how do I know that I need to do one of the two if I don't know whether the thought is true or not?
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Old 07-17-12, 05:24 PM   #38
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I like what it says at the end of the last article. I would highlight it this way:

Taking elements from both approaches

The general approaches of 'challenging' and 'accepting' can both be useful in handling negative thoughts. I find the 'thought challenging and replacing' strategy is good for dealing with blatantly distorted or unrealistic ways of thinking. If someone has a thought like, "If I don't get along with everyone on this new team I joined, I'll never get the hang of this stuff and I'll be alone forever!" then it's pretty easy to identify how exaggerated it is and shoot it down.

I don't think the challenging approach can totally clean up someone's thinking however, and the ACT philosophy can be useful for dealing with what's left over. You can still have negative thoughts, but you let them float past you without reacting to them, and don't let them prevent you from doing what you were going to do anyways.


So, you can challenge them first, and then ignore the parts that remain. Or, you can try different combinations and see what works best for you over time. The suggestion above is how the author finds it useful but you might find another way. It's probably a combo of approaches.
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Old 07-17-12, 05:25 PM   #39
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Man, that bold is really bold! Looks like I'm yelling LOL! Whoops...

Do you think it's interesting? Want to practice it tomorrow? (or now - anytime!)
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Old 07-17-12, 05:30 PM   #40
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I know a combination would be best, but I guess I just find it hard to see whether something is blatantly wrong because it's so engrained in my head. If someone else could read all the thoughts that run through my head, this would all be totally easy. But I know there's so much bad thoughts that I don't even recognize because it's routine. It's like I'm lost and have a map to get to where I need to be, but I'm blind?

I've been trying to just ignore everything or not ignore it, but keep doing whatever even if I don't want to. But I can feel it building up and I know I can't do that forever because it's so exhausting. That may be why I'm so tired.

(and I think I know you enough where I know you don't yell. I always read whatever you write with a comforting voice )
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