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Will the pain ever stop?

This is a discussion on Will the pain ever stop? within the Abuse forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; Originally Posted by pixystyx sorry Do not be sorry, instead lets find out a way to make things better. I ...

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Old 04-11-11, 05:16 PM   #41
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sorry
Do not be sorry, instead lets find out a way to make things better. I know the past is hard to forget, and its hard to share with others. But no one is here to judge you. Promise me you will never try to commit suicide ever again. And I will promise you two things. As long as I draw breath, you will have a friend to talk about the bad things with. And as long as i draw breath, you will have a supporter behind your back, pushing you up this big mountain called life until you reach the top, and victory is yours.
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Old 04-11-11, 05:20 PM   #42
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i do not laugh too much, i live on oxys and pretty much stay in my room. no desire to go anywhere
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Old 04-11-11, 05:32 PM   #43
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Do not be sorry, instead lets find out a way to make things better. I know the past is hard to forget, and its hard to share with others. But no one is here to judge you. Promise me you will never try to commit suicide ever again. And I will promise you two things. As long as I draw breath, you will have a friend to talk about the bad things with. And as long as i draw breath, you will have a supporter behind your back, pushing you up this big mountain called life until you reach the top, and victory is yours.
i honestly do not think i can promise you that yet.. it's not like something i can just turn on or off. when it happens it is like an obsession or something. like it is THE choice, the ONLY choice, all the pain will stop, i will have peace, noting will hurt anymore.
if i promise you that now, i might end up a liar, i 'm sorry, i can't
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Old 04-11-11, 05:41 PM   #44
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i honestly do not think i can promise you that yet.. it's not like something i can just turn on or off. when it happens it is like an obsession or something. like it is THE choice, the ONLY choice, all the pain will stop, i will have peace, noting will hurt anymore.
if i promise you that now, i might end up a liar, i 'm sorry, i can't
No rush needed at all. Moving at your own pace is what matters. My promises I give to you on this day. And hopefully a day can come, when you have a reason to smile. Smiles are what make this world go around
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Old 04-11-11, 05:42 PM   #45
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thank you.. i will be back.. sorry
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Old 04-12-11, 04:37 AM   #46
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Hi Brokenashes.. I am doing a little better today, how are you doing? Yesterday was bad, too much pain, too many memories surfacing, too many people being nice to me, and I read a post that really upset me. Even my roomate yelled at me for not eating, She is actually so nice, but it makes me sad when she yells.. feel like I let her down or something.. I'll try today and see what happens.. She will check i know.

Anyway, I am trying to think about what to say here.. thoughts are all jumbled, i don't know...
I can understand how bad it feels when someone yells at you. I feel like that too. Too many words, memories, ideas jumbled up in my head, and i don't know what to say. Hope these hugs make you smile a little . You are in my payers.
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Old 04-12-11, 04:42 AM   #47
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I can related to your situation.My mum always blamed me for whatever went wrong in her life. She made the relatives and people we knew believe that i was being a problem for her. she made them believe that i was the worst child anyone could ever have. Even now at the age of 32, I still feel the hurt. I know what my mom did and said to me wasn't because of my fault. But i do wish that things were different.

I can understand your pain... and i wish that you find a way to heal this hurt. i am trying to find a way to heal too.
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Old 04-12-11, 10:30 AM   #48
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Hi brokenashes, how are you today?
I don't like to get yelled at either. My roomate is actually very nice, and I know she cares, but some days I just don't feel like eating, i don't know.

I was bad too. I don't know why, I tried so hard to be good. I tried to be good so she would not yell. I tried to be good so her boyfriends would not be mad and leave, I trled to be good so she would not hurt me, I tried to be good and lied at the ED so she would not get in trouble, tried to be good and not make noise, tried to be good good good good. Somehow I failed. I don't know why, still not sure. It really hurts, wish it were different too. I hope you feel better today, not easy I know... pixy
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Old 04-12-11, 03:55 PM   #49
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hEr boyfriends left because they wanted to, not because of you. If they really loved your mom, it wouldnt matter what you did. NOne of that is your fault, hear me when i say this. Do not blame yourself, do not allow yourself to be judged because of them. You are a wonderful person.
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Old 04-12-11, 04:38 PM   #50
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hEr boyfriends left because they wanted to, not because of you. If they really loved your mom, it wouldnt matter what you did. NOne of that is your fault, hear me when i say this. Do not blame yourself, do not allow yourself to be judged because of them. You are a wonderful person.
Thank you for saying this, but it is not that easy. You are what you live, it does not just go away. Even when you tell yourself it is not your fault, it is still stuck in your mind..
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