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Will the pain ever stop?

This is a discussion on Will the pain ever stop? within the Abuse forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I'm sorry.. I'll be back later... :-(...

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Old 04-10-11, 09:38 PM   #31
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I'm sorry.. I'll be back later... :-(
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Old 04-10-11, 10:46 PM   #32
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I'm sorry.. I'll be back later... :-(

No need to be sorry, take your time and be safe, thats all that matters.
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Old 04-11-11, 04:56 AM   #33
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hi pixy. I hope you are doing good today.
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Old 04-11-11, 08:36 AM   #34
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hi pixy. I hope you are doing good today.
Hi Brokenashes.. I am doing a little better today, how are you doing? Yesterday was bad, too much pain, too many memories surfacing, too many people being nice to me, and I read a post that really upset me. Even my roomate yelled at me for not eating, She is actually so nice, but it makes me sad when she yells.. feel like I let her down or something.. I'll try today and see what happens.. She will check i know.

Anyway, I am trying to think about what to say here.. thoughts are all jumbled, i don't know...
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Old 04-11-11, 03:53 PM   #35
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Advice Pix my friend, dont think on it to hard, just say what you feel. No one is here to judge you, or make fun of you, we are all here to listen and befriend. Let it flow and lets see a smile on your face today.
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Old 04-11-11, 04:49 PM   #36
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Advice Pix my friend, dont think on it to hard, just say what you feel. No one is here to judge you, or make fun of you, we are all here to listen and befriend. Let it flow and lets see a smile on your face today.
ok.. I found this board last month after I tried to kill myself again. I failed and was looking for ideas and somehow ended up here. I was amazed that there was something like this out there, normally suicide is something most people don't want to talk about.. growing up was miserable, i was the reason my mothers life sucked, why she was poor, why she couldn't get a man, why she couldn't keep a man, why she drank, why she did drugs, etc. etc. everything was my fault. the first time i heard the " if i wasn't so poor, i'd have gotten an abortion.." line, i didn't even know what the word meant. i asked the neighbor what it meant, and they told my mom, and she beat me. she was very good at beatings, piss her off a bit and stand back.. i used to cry at night and wish i was dead. i always wondered why she had me, or kept me, other than as a toy for her scumbag boyfreinds when she was too drunk or whatever to care. i don't know why she hated me so much, i tried so hard to be good, would try to do what she wanted, try to be good so her boyfriends would not leave, lied at the ED on those occasions when I went there, everthing I could to be good, but it didn't work. i tried to run away several times but we lived in the country and there was no real place to go so i had to go back.
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Old 04-11-11, 04:53 PM   #37
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the final night there she threw me down the cellar stairs and really hurt me. the next day a friend who was older came and got me and i left. i have never been back, never called, never written, not even sure if she is still there or alive, i just can't stand the thought of seeing or talking to her again.
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Old 04-11-11, 05:04 PM   #38
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after bouncing around a few years, i ended up with my current roomate. she is one of the 4 people in my life now (her, pain mgmt dr, pharmacy guy, and store guy). she is nice, sometimes a bit too mom/bossy, but she has held me together more times than i care to admit. sometimes though things just get to be too rough, or something sets me off, or the pain gets too bad, and i go nuts.
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Old 04-11-11, 05:07 PM   #39
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sorry
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Old 04-11-11, 05:13 PM   #40
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No I am sorry you had to go through that. I am sorry your mom gave you hell like that, and I am sorry those things almost lead you to suicide. I am sorry I cannot change the past, but I can make the future a better place for you. Friendship is not much to give, but its the most important thing I feel a person needs to keep going. Your moms words were mean, and they hurt. I am sorry she said those words to you when so young. She was wrong, she should not have aborted you. Thats a terrible thing to say to anyone, and I am deeply burdened with sorrow it was said to you. But now, you have a better chance, a new chance. You have more friends to add to your list. You can proudly add my name, and the names of everyone on this board to your list of friends. Lets seal away the past together, so we can open the gates to the future. A Future without all those bad things your mother said. A Future where friends can laugh and have fun, a Future where the tears only come, from laughing to much.
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