Thanks dad, for scarring me and giving me depression.
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Thanks dad, for scarring me and giving me depression.

This is a discussion on Thanks dad, for scarring me and giving me depression. within the Abuse forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; Basically ever since I was born my dad emotionally/verbally abused me. He abused my mom probably twice as much as ...

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Old 10-25-13, 07:59 PM   #1
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Post Thanks dad, for scarring me and giving me depression.

Basically ever since I was born my dad emotionally/verbally abused me. He abused my mom probably twice as much as me. I have him to thank for giving me depression. When I was little I didn't know why I felt this way. I didn't know abuse was even wrong, because he tried to say it wasn't. I don't know how he tricked my mom to marry him. I wished she married someone else. We could've actually have been happy. I could've had a childhood, maybe even a life. But no, thanks to him I hated my life and had been wanting to kill myself since the 6th grade.
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Old 10-25-13, 09:40 PM   #2
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I'm sorry this happened. At least you know it's not your fault. One of my voices is an overbearing father figure who can be very hypercritical and abusive. So you aren't alone.


Can you give me an example of something your dad said?
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Old 10-27-13, 09:47 AM   #3
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When I used to be in third grade My dad used to make me write letters to the politicians of this country asking for donation so that he could sit and eat unemployed for some more time....I was small and made mistakes....there is a thin bamboo stick that was used on me...and the worst used to happen when I refused to write...he used to make the room dark with dim light and torture me....

Last edited by Cushi; 10-28-13 at 08:51 AM.
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Old 01-03-14, 03:16 PM   #4
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*Hugs*
I'm sorry it happened. If it helps, you're definitely not alone. To this day, I wonder why my dad even bothered to marry and start a family, if he was going to treat us so badly. I felt like the only kid in the world who wished that my parents would get a divorce.

It's hard to have sympathy for anyone who's been abusive to you, but more than likely, he was abused and mistreated by someone too. And now, abuse is the only way he knows how to relate to anyone, because he wasn't properly nurtured as a child. Regardless, that doesn't excuse his behavior towards you and your mother. He still hurt you.

However, once you start to try and make sense of why these things happened, it makes it easier to heal and recover. One of the most hurtful things about being abused is not knowing why. Why did he do that? Why didn't he handle that situation differently? Why was abused? When you start seeking the real answers to those questions, what you find may surprise you.

When I think of the violent man who beat and intimidated me as a child, it's hard to feel compassion. But when I think of the small, vulnerable abused child he once was, it's easier to make sense of why he did what he did.

Abusive adults tend to be very childish in many ways. They're stuck in the same immature mentality as a kid, but unfortunately, they have more authority and responsibility than a child could have. Imagine if 8-year-olds could be parents? My dad did a lot of things to me that kids on the playground did. Namecalling, pushing, hitting, tantrums, yelling, throwing things. At least with another kid, I could defend myself. With him, I was too terrified to do anything but stand there and take whatever he dished out. I wouldn't dream of hitting back or even running. I didn't want to risk making him angrier than he already was.

Think about kids who burn ants with a magnifying glass & pull legs off spiders. My dad was that kid, except he had children instead of ants. He had a little "game" he liked to play with us. He'd yell at us to come over in the voice he used to call us when we were in trouble. He'd shout at us to "cry!" Terrified, and wanting to avoid a beating, we'd cry. If he thought we were faking, he'd get more threatening and loud and scream "cry real tears!" He'd never hit us, he wanted the satisfaction of knowing that he could bring us to tears through sheer intimidation.

As we'd stood there with tears rolling down our face, bodies heaving in sobs, he'd give us the most wicked, sick smile. After he was satisfied that we'd suffered enough for his twisted amusement, he'd coldly dismiss us, as if we were the most pathetic subhuman scum in existence. He was asserting the fact that he could do whatever he wanted to us, and there was nothing we could do about it.
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Old 02-10-14, 03:39 AM   #5
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ArtofElegance that is heartbreaking >_<
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Old 09-14-14, 05:23 PM   #6
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From what ArtOfElegance said, I would like to add that some kids are abused at home so they go to the schoolyard and bully other kids. Some adults were abused at home and they don't even have to go as far as the schoolyard, because their victims are right in their own backyard.
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Old 09-24-14, 06:02 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelKitti View Post
Basically ever since I was born my dad emotionally/verbally abused me. He abused my mom probably twice as much as me. I have him to thank for giving me depression. When I was little I didn't know why I felt this way. I didn't know abuse was even wrong, because he tried to say it wasn't. I don't know how he tricked my mom to marry him. I wished she married someone else. We could've actually have been happy. I could've had a childhood, maybe even a life. But no, thanks to him I hated my life and had been wanting to kill myself since the 6th grade.

It is a good step to blame your dad for the actual mess that he made.
It is important to acknowledge that there are many things that he blames you for, but it is really his fault. He will most likely never change, so it is best if you cut him out of your life though. The problem with abusive paretns is that they usually convince themselves that they did the right thing all the time.
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