So, So proud of this post. With recent events (bullying) being the center of attention, I commend you for putting out there your guilt, your shame, and your apologies. That takes a big person to do that. I remember years ago, my sister in law told me of a girl she went to school with (from about elementary to high school) that was constantly bullied. She took part in it quite a bit herself. That girl committed suicide shortly after graduating their high school. She confessed to me the guilt she has felt all these years and if she played a part in her death she would never be able to tell her how sorry she was. She was sorry before the gal died. With things like Facebook now, I have contemplated spreading a message about confessing guilt, apologies, forgiveness...but I am too chicken shit to put it out there. Most of the time the person who was hurt by someone remembers the incident when the offender does not remember at all. Again, thanks for being honest, and admitting your wrongs. I don't see many others in my area doing anything like that at all. Now...Forgive yourself.
"I believe in the sun when it's not shining, I believe in love when I feel it not, I believe in God even when he is silent"