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This is a discussion on If you would. within the Abuse forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I would much appreciate advice in this matter. I am sixteen. I am male. I was sexually and physically abused ...

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Old 03-22-11, 01:15 AM   #1
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I would much appreciate advice in this matter. I am sixteen. I am male. I was sexually and physically abused by my stepfather during a period of about four years. I feel as though I have developed some odd tendencies as a result, and am wondering if, and how, I should confess to my current housemates that this has happened, or at least that I am having some rather serious issues. I have become masochistic, sadistic, an (for lack of a better term) "attention whore," and I experience what I see as borderline sociopathic stints, where I don't feel anything for anyone, even myself. I have other problems, but they are numerous. I am also bisexual, possibly as a result of my abuse. My sexuality is relatively normal most of the time, besides my sado/masochism. I am currently living with my half-sister and her boyfriend, who I am comfortable with. This is because of my mothers recent attempted suicide, which I also did not feel even vaguely sad about. Maybe this is because subconsciously I actually blame my mother partially for my abuse, which I have yet to determine whether or not has actually caused all of these psychological oddities, or even if I feel sad about it. Comments or observations. Questions also welcome. I don't really care if this is in the wrong place, as I only created this account to say this. Quick replies would be appreciated. ;)
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Old 03-22-11, 04:02 AM   #2
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I don’t know, possibly someone professional or someone with similar experiences could help you better. I believe the characteristics you listed are not necessarily ‘abnormal’ but could also be a result of the abuse/sexual abuse. Telling your flat mates about it??? I don’t know, maybe, but perhaps only if they are really, really good mates otherwise they may say ‘ohhh I’m soo sorry’ but think something different... I mean you probably know better than I how they are.

However, as for more attention it could be a good idea telling them and of course they won't say something bad.
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Last edited by Rony; 03-22-11 at 04:07 AM.
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Old 03-22-11, 12:39 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Rony View Post
I don’t know, possibly someone professional or someone with similar experiences could help you better. I believe the characteristics you listed are not necessarily ‘abnormal’ but could also be a result of the abuse/sexual abuse. Telling your flat mates about it??? I don’t know, maybe, but perhaps only if they are really, really good mates otherwise they may say ‘ohhh I’m soo sorry’ but think something different... I mean you probably know better than I how they are.

However, as for more attention it could be a good idea telling them and of course they won't say something bad.
Well, I'm only sixteen so I live with my sister and her boyfriend. Not really strangers but I don't know them that well.
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Old 03-23-11, 03:37 AM   #4
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In a situation where your behaviour appears strange in some way, do your sister and her bf respond understanding or rejecting and are they happy to have you there?
If you get along with them really good I would probably tell them but maybe not every detail. Perhaps just tell them that you think the sexual abuse has affected your personality and sex preferences. And I would probably use words like ‘you think often of more aggressive sex’ rather than the terms ‘sado/masochism & sadistic’. The rest should be okay and not to feel sad or anything for someone else doesn’t have to be abnormal I think, a problem would however be if you feel satisfaction by the idea of hurting someone else. You may have fantasies of whatever it is that gives you something that you can’t get in reality but hurting someone or doing something they don’t want would be wrong. You know what abuse did to yourself, if you could turn back time, wouldn’t you try to do something to avoid the abuse??

I hope everything works out for you buddy.
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Old 05-26-11, 06:18 PM   #5
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When you describe yourself as sadistic, what do you do that you consider to be sadistic?
Explaining to your half-sister about what you went through and that you are finding you are having some issues as a result I would expect her to be supportive. Though you would be able to judge her reaction better than me. What do you think you will be able to gain from sharing this information?
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