I called the cops on my parents, was this a good reason or not?
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I called the cops on my parents, was this a good reason or not?

This is a discussion on I called the cops on my parents, was this a good reason or not? within the Abuse forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I'm not sure if this belongs in this section or not but here goes, Three days when my parents came ...

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Old 01-09-11, 03:23 PM   #1
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Default I called the cops on my parents, was this a good reason or not?

I'm not sure if this belongs in this section or not but here goes,

Three days when my parents came home from shopping they were yelling at each other. Before they came into the kitchen to argue and scream more, my dad kicked a hole into the side of the staircase then my mom tried to explain why they were arguing to my sister. That's when my dad got even more angry and kicked in one of the cupboard doors in the kitchen. My mom got angry that he was breaking things and pushed him but he pushed back and that's how they got into it physically... Like my started hitting him with her hands (he was just trying to push her off him and pushed her to the floor in the process) and then hit him with the bat in the head and the thigh and then hit him with a water bottle.

While this was going on I went upstairs and called the cops on both of them. The cops came but only arrested my mom cause she told the police that if they didn't come her and my dad would still be arguing with each other and that she would kick me and my sister asses for calling the cops in the first place (cause the cops were never ever called before and much worse stuff has happened).

Basically she had to spend a day in jail, has a criminal record now, and can't get her nursing degree (she wanted to but cant cause she said once you get arrested you cant get financial aid). On top of this she said that its gonna be hard for her to get a good job now and that she's leaving the house permanently and moving in with her brother after her probation hearing (she was cursing a lot at me, my sister, and my dad at how much she hates all of us and how much of a mistake we were).

No one in the family supports what I did and feel that I should have not done it. I feel horrible for calling the cops on her but I was afraid that either her or my father were going to hurt one another. On top of that she drinks a lot (she promised to stop Christmas then broke her promise then promised again on new years when things got really bad, but that's another post for another time) so i think she has a tendency to get angrier.

Sorry if this post is long, my families just going through a lot right now. Like my sister was crying earlier when my mom came home (she couldn't afford to stay in a motel another day after she got out of jail and had to come here. We all thought she was going to work thought but I think she quit cause she's leaving the state soon) - cause she smelled and cause she looked messy (like she needed a change of clothes even though im sure she showered and she looked like she was crying a lot).

It just hurts a lot even thought im trying not to show it cause everyones making me feel bad cause im the one that called but if i didnt this would have kept on like it has for so many years.
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Old 01-09-11, 03:49 PM   #2
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Ive called the cops on my old neighbours many time due to the fact that they argued to the degree that i thought somone was going to die.

I dont think that you done the wrong thing. You, at the time were woried for their safty, you couldnt defuse the situation your self and needed help. the cops are one way of dealing with that situation.

They shouldnt blame you for what you done, you were scared and wanted them to stop. If they didnt want that, then they should have toned it down a touch, or had the argument when you wernt in the house.

As for your mum drinking, well.... alcohol fuels arguments like nothing else. I should know as i am an alcoholic and have had drink fueled arguments (and had the cops come round). I wouldnt be supprised if the main cause of the arguments were the drinking.

Could you talk to your mum and beg her to seek help with her addiction, a doctor can give her all the help she needs.

Dont be worried, you done what you thought was right at the time
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Old 01-10-11, 11:13 AM   #3
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you did the right thing
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Old 01-15-11, 09:47 AM   #4
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Using a bat on another person can be automatically construed as attempted murder. You did the right thing in preventing a tragedy- just because only furniture was broken didn't mean that what they were doing was justified or permissible. The whole event has damaged everyone involved in various degrees. Being drunk does not entitle someone to act out- it's a side-effect of hidden hostility. You becoming the scape goat doesn't absolve your parents of the consequences of their actions. You are not the guilty party. You acted in a rational way to an unacceptable circumstance. Your mother is a victim only of drinking thinking- her perspective is altered by her addiction. She is the only one who can help herself. I suggest that you remind your family that the problem belongs to your parents- that the outcome depends on them rather than you. In the meantime if you can, al-anon is a good resource.
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Old 01-15-11, 12:02 PM   #5
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Nah you did fine, if people arent going to act civil they need to be policed. Thats why it it their. Life isnt some full house episode.
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Old 01-31-11, 03:25 AM   #6
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I'm sorry to hear they are making you feel bad for it. People don't like to have their faults exposed and they get mad about it, but it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Your mom's drinking is probably her biggest challenge to deal with. Is she willing to get involved in a 12-step program like AA or something like that?

Don't feel bad. You did the right thing.
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Old 01-31-11, 03:56 AM   #7
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I think you did the right thing. If you haven't called the cops they would continue arguing and this could have gone worse. I have seen a lot of arguing and fighting at my home, and still if i even dared to complain to any elder in the family, no one would take it seriously. Every time my mother was in one of her angry moods, she would yell at us, and most of the time i was the one getting a beating and no food for a day or two. I could not understand what it was about.

Sometimes adults fail to understand the consequences brought about by their own actions and blame the kids. And i know it hurts a lot. even if they blame you, please know that you did the right thing!
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