How should I distract myself?
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How should I distract myself?

This is a discussion on How should I distract myself? within the Abuse forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I cope with the voices and ruminations by distracting myself. This is hard to explain but I'll give a try: ...

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Old 05-31-12, 08:38 AM   #1
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Default How should I distract myself?

I cope with the voices and ruminations by distracting myself.

This is hard to explain but I'll give a try:

My new motto is "life is a party". I feel like I've earned to right think like that because I busted my ass to get into an Ivy League University and have been dealing with the misery of mental illness for years. Now it's time for me to let loose. The voices then actually become useful because they compel me to be fully engaged in the world outside me head.

So here's what I'm wondering:

Should I distract myself w/ mostly sexual activities (not just physical but also erotic novels, sex-positive blogs and forums, TV shows with sexual themes, sexual politics books, etc.) with some exceptions like the beach or a sporting event or should I distract myself with a wide variety of activities (dinner, movie, regular books, TV).

I'm leaning towards mostly sexual activities because I'm an extremist, I would feel bad if I was living the same life as people who don't suffer from this disorder, I find most normal activities and people who participate in them boring. I take pride in the fact that I watch very little TV. Idle chit chat at dinner is so blah which is partly why I don't date. And I feel uncomfortable when the people turn out to be very different from me. Plus I don't have much money to spend on things like movies.

I just hope I'm not limiting myself and wonder if this is realistic...
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Old 05-31-12, 08:55 AM   #2
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Distraction can be very similar to escapism, both of which can be good in moderate doses but are not really healthy copy mechanisms in the long term. Distraction, escape and avoidance don't tend to fix anything, they just sidestep things for a while.

Another problem with distractions and escapes is that they become more and more important to you and you become more and more dependent on them. If your chosen distraction is either unhealthy or not sustainable then you have a problem. I've found solace in many unwise activities in my time and I've had to go through the stress of giving each and every one of those up. My core problems remain the same, nothing was ever dealth with in my 'absence'.

If you build new things into your life that are both sustainable and enriching then fantastic, you can only benefit. Sex and sexual things can be quite hollow without meeting your emotional needs. Perhaps not in the short term, but in the longer term. Emotional development is as much a part of our wellbeing as anything else.

Anyway, just throwing out some thoughts. Probably none of it makes any sense, my brain was put in upside down and backwards so forgive me :)
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Old 05-31-12, 09:46 AM   #3
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I hate "healthy" coping mechanisms. They tick me off because they're not extreme enough. They're boring.

My emotional needs are met by my family. Plus I really love myself.

So it's between variety and sexual variety. Sexual variety sees impossible to sustain 24/7 but variety is boring.
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Old 05-31-12, 11:06 AM   #4
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I've been hurt a lot and the voices are very hard to deal with so I feel like I've earned the right to totally carefree.

It seems like most girls, if not most people, foster a variety of interests besides sex. For example, one of my lovers is going to see a band play. He works at a job that's unrelated to sex. So it's like he's more well-rounded.

Plus I go to church so that's not sexual.

I just can't help but think diving into sexuality is a better way to distract myself. I feel like every girl enjoys going to the mall or the spa or something but the thing is, they don't hear voices. So if I did the same thing, then it's like I was miserable for no reason. I would just be like everyone else for the most part. I want to be able to say "life is a party" and I want to be able to have more fun that normal people do because their lives weren't almost ruined by a psychosis. Besides, it's a whole lot easier to focus on the present moment experience if it's something sexual rather than something generic.

But sexuality can be limiting and I have other interests like atheism vs. Christianity and the conservative take on race relations.

So I don't know...
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Old 05-31-12, 01:01 PM   #5
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To just let loose sometimes doesnt mean: go crazy and stay that way.

SensualGirl, I often used to ease my anxiety by sleeping with someone.

But this "distraction" thing, I think is a very good thing! Just living with mental illnesses get you to loose the energy to live.
And to do things that are fun, i think variation is a good idea so that you test new things, let you enjoy life again, just a little it at times, which I can feel can be crucial..

We can't behave constructive with a destructive mind. Date a lot if you want, have lots of sex. Just try to avoid making it dangerously, as I did.
If you want variation, maybe you dont need relaxing things. You could do other stuff that are exilirating, climbing mountains, bungyjumping, you could focus on activites that makes you fysically tired, which can also give some joy maybe? :)
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Old 05-31-12, 05:54 PM   #6
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Thanks for weighing in. You have a point that variation would encourage me to try new things. With the sexuality only as the source of distraction, I could be missing out on a lot. I may become too dependent on sexual encounters. And when I'm not able to find some sexual source of distraction, I might feel bored or uncomfortable. So that's worth taking into consideration.
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Old 05-31-12, 07:11 PM   #7
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Something keeps pulling me back to the sexuality option. For one thing, variety is expensive. There are a lot of fun activities I know about, like dancing lessons, yoga, language classes, etc. But I can't afford them. Sex is free and accessible. It feels more authentic. It feels more unique. Like I have a better quality of life than most others. That I may not be rich yet but at least I'm a non-conformist.
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Old 06-01-12, 06:26 AM   #8
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Thanks for the PMs 147. I feel much better having talked to you more in depth.

So I'm still looking to dive in full force with the sexuality option. But there are downsides. Like I could get bored if I have no opportunity. Then my life wouldn't be more fun than most people I know( like my sister who has never had a mental illness and is successful), which is part of the objective.
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