Hi, sherrycat. I think, dear, you already know it is violence. As a woman who survived domestic violence, I learned it comes in many forms. Intimidation. Ugly hateful words. Imposing power and control. Physical harm ... like throwing things at people and hitting them with fists.
For the years I was married to that man, I tried convincing myself it wasn't that bad. That he was really a good person, and that I owed it to him to help him.
I imagine with this being your brother, it wouldn't be surprising to hear if you felt a sense of duty and connection to him.
But I learned that no matter what a person is to us, or no matter how they tell us they love us or care about us, them being violent is not okay.
You have the right to be protected from harm. Whether it's physical or verbal or mental. Violence is the act of causing pain or harm to another person. So would you say your brother's actions qualify as violence?
Please do what you can to protect yourself from the violence. Whether your brother gets help for his violent behaviours is up to him. But it is up to you to keep yourself safe.
And please don't call yourself "stupid". You're not. How many times did I forgive my ex? Many. Yes, I called myself "stupid" for forgiving him after each time he hurt me. I think that's part of our will to survive - that if we berate ourselves by calling ourselves "stupid", it will get us the hell out of there. But you are not stupid. You are human. Maybe you want to give your brother another chance. But it should not cost you your safety or wellness, sherrycat.
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just tryin to keep it real!