I feel stupid for writing this, because in a way i don't believe this is abuse, because i don't find it possible that my family could be capable of that.
Anyways, I've been depressed for 3 years, and have been to only one or 2 therapists, before i realised they don't help and are mostly overpaid creeps, who don't really care... but anways, this constant battle with cutting, suicide, failing school, has led me to be very unhappy and angry. My family (2 sisters, mom and dad) are very sick of my behaviour. The first fighting began when me and my older sister were fighting, my mom came in and got so mad that i woke her up that she slapped me straight across the face. I was upset, but i convinced myself she was sorry and that i deserved it. A few days later i got in another arguement with my mom, because she was docking the boat, and i had walked away to water the flowers like she wanted, but she thought i was leaving her. She marched right over grabbed my ear and threw me to the ground, I got up and she came at me again, but i grabbed her hands and she pushed me down again.
The next thing happened a few days later. My dad was getting upset because i wanted to hang out with my friends rather than spend the rest of the summer with them, (i've already spent a month and a half with them). He grabbed my face, scratching up my cheeks, and yelled in my face, saying i'd do whatever the hell he wanted. My mom just sat there and told me it was my fault and then got up to go for a drive. I told her not to leave, or if i could come, she left me. My dad screamed at me about my behaviour, saying how i don't need to see therapists (even though i was FORCED to see these people) that i need to get over myself (my depression) and stop being a d***head. He then proceeded to call me profanities.
So by now i was feeling pretty bad. The next and worst fight came when my much older 21 yr old sister and I were in the basement. I asked to borrow her pants, but she quickly changed the subject and said how she was sick of my behaviour. Things got a bit heated up (because i was quite sick of being treated this way and am not a "shy" girl and I will stand up for myself eventually). She threw me down, held me down, and punched me in the eye. I tried to push her off me (i didn't want to hurt her) and ended up hitting her in the stomach. She jumped on me again, and beat on me, leaving bruises and scratches. My Mom came in, yelled at me, saying I deserved it.
I don't know what to do...But I just can't stand this constant fighting.